Wednesday, November 29, 2006

Over At The Blog of The Rejecter....

All The Secrets About Dealing With Your Professor In One Easy Lesson

Just before I was about to pack it in, I chanced to take a peek at the blog of The Rejecter. Now if you follow Cobwebs Of The Mind you will know I have developed a soft spot for The Rejecter. (Forget it Miss Snark, you already got your official Fire Extinguisher!)

Anyways, in her recent post, NEVER TAKE AN MFA PROGRAM, The Rejecter apologized for not posting a great deal as life, liberty and the pursuit of knowledge and happiness has interfered with her regularly posting schedule. But she did have a few choice things to imply about her Professor. It seems that nothing she could write would make her Professor happy. It was frustrating and very upsetting.

As she writes about her Prof. in the Post, NEVER TAKE AN MFA PROGRAM:
"He rejects just about everything I submit, and sometimes I give him whole, publishable novels, but they aren't about me, so they are apparently worthless. Somehow he then succeeds in making me feel guilty about not rising to his challenge to write from the heart, because producing stories people enjoy isn't enough - I should strive to write something great."
What do you know, The Rejecter GOT rejected! Oh My! Oh Golly Gee! Uh-Oh! A woman scorned and all that jazz!

So of course I want to cheer up The Rejecter. Don't take it to heart. We have all been there and done it!

I like The Rejecter and thus that mean old Prof has become the enemy! Yes sirree. We are going to deal with him right now! After all what are friends for?

So folks here I present to you the official version of:

All The Secrets About Dealing With Your Professor In One Easy Lesson

First lesson to learn in life is that if you want your Professor to accept your work then know just how to deal with the Professor. What did you think? This is all about your talent? Who told you that in University you would be judged soley according to talent and brains and marks?

Sheesh...
In University you really have to learn how to kiss some serious butt!




Now, Ms. Rejecter. Do you actually think Prof. is looking for orginality? Something new? A great new and wonderful voice in writing? Come on now. I know you are more realistic than that. Prof. wants to be able to read the same stuff over and over and over again. He needs to show that he is the only unique voice in the group.

He is out to prove the one great rule of Conformity:




Hey! "Stop" you scream at me. "Don't you realize Teddy I still have to write something for this professor? He still has to grade me, and be willing to read my stuff! I need ideas. I need to get my tushy into gear here. Otherwise I really am going to end up in deep doo-doo. Nothing I write is good enough for this guy. I just don't know what to do anymore!"

Hey Lady You think you got problems now? Just wait until you hand in that next paper!



Do you really think it is a matter of trying harder? Putting your best foot forward and all that? Do you actually think your Prof. is going to notice? Will he care? Come on now, people like that are always out to get us writers!

Hey Rejecter. No matter what you do humiliation is just a step away! Rule #1 in trying to achieve those great things in life by really giving it your all - is:




Now as much as I hate to say this, you still have not grasped the one great rule in life. You have still not understood just what every writer has learned through sweat and tears to understand. It still has not sunk in. You need that mark. You must succeed. There is no other option but success. And you will write that great piece. And your Professor is going to give you an A+ for it. And your 4.0 index will remain. Oh yes there is no other option for you but success. And by golly that is what you are going to do. You are going to succeed. It is your destiny.

SUCCESS WILL BE YOURS!

Yeah. And just what planet are you living on?




Now finally, we must end this lesson. So I leave you with but a word to the wise. Study well the lesson above. Don't ever forget it. But if there does come a time when doubt creeps into your heart, then be of strong courage and great fortitude.

Never let burnout get to you. Don't give up. Take heart and know that it is always true when they say about Teddy:




(Now can we please discuss that query letter I just sent your agency and you are getting ready to read?)

All illustrations above are from the Despair.com. All hyperlinks on the posters will take you to their original page @ Despair.com.

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind




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1 comment:

Kim Stagliano said...

I'm fond of The Rejecter too.

I just got the despair.com catalog yesterday. I sat on my front step waiting for the short bus to deliver my three girls with autism home from school safely, laughing my ass off. "Problems" is my favorite. I'm making a calendar for my brother. Great stuff!

Kim