Friday, June 16, 2006

"Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen"

One of the books that I am in the midst of writing, which basically started on a lark, is actually a cookbook entitled "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen".

Go ahead laugh. Laugh Again. I don't mind in the least. You think its funny when the kids microwave the popcorn for 30 minutes instead of 3. Or when the chicken is just about ready and then the phone rings, and you forget all about it? Go ahead laugh, while I open the oven, forget to put on protective gloves and put my hand on the chicken pot. Neener. Neener. I learned how to cook. Oh boy, did I learn how to cook.

In one email, a friend was complaining that all the family could get to read lately, were biographies, auto-biographies, self-serving memoirs, photography books, and cook books. She said she had nothing against cook books but that they were all geared lately either to healthy eating or to serving these real gourmet meals. Then she wrote: "Don't these people ever have to feed a household of children night after night? I bet they write these cookbooks and when the kids need to eat they send them out to Burger King!!!"

This person knew that I had somewhat of a history with cooking, and because of that, after reading the email she got my mind in a whirl.

After I got divorced I really had no idea how to cook a damn thing. I could make a steak, fairly well, but when the kids asked for some macaroni and cheese (not using the word pasta here!) I was totally baffled by how long you had to let the macaroni cook for until it got soft enough to start the whole baking process!

As they say, when you got to do it, you damn well make sure you do it! And that is what happened to me. I had kids to feed, often loads of them in the house, and I could not deal with sending them out night after night, or ordering in night after night, some fast food stuff.

Now don't get me wrong. I am not a health food nutso person, (though I love fresh spices), and I don't count calories all that much when I make a "balanced meal". And then after a bit of research, and knowing my capabilities, I came to realize that what the market actually does lack, is a humorous, down-to-earth cookbook, for people who have never seen the inside of a kitchen. It can be daunting to face it at first.

Single parents and even normal working parents, have little time or have no clue how to make a decent meal from basic foods in a short period of time. This was the impetus behind "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen". It is based upon my experiences trying to learn to cook, using real life stories, but it also attempts to divide recipes up into various categories, so that the parent can read this book and laugh, and know they are NOT alone, and also quickly pick up a recipe which will WORK and TASTE GOOD.

"Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen" is NOT a Gourmet Cookbook. It is essentially telling the story of how to cook, with hopefully a great deal of humor thrown in, (well, at least I think it is funny!)

"Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen" concentrates on stupid, little things. When it says take a "cup" what the hell does that mean? What is a tablespoon of X? How do I know when something is ready? How do you defrost meat correctly? All those prepatory things to cooking that no one ever tells you. How to buy fresh spices and what to use them for as well.

I had to learn all this off the sweat of my back, and in some very funny scenarios, and "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen" is the result. Of course, I would love an agent for a publisher for this if the angels are smiling and you are reading this......

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