Tuesday, February 06, 2007

You Just Got To Love Free Advice

Beware! Long discombobulated story to follow!

So there I was actually minding my own business (which I admit is a rarity). I had to pick up the CD of photographs from my son's recent Bar Mitzvah. (Yep, I talk about that a great deal. Deal with it!) I love walking in the rain and so I decided today would be a good time to walk in the drizzle and rain of Jerusalem.

The photographer told me to meet him on a street I was fairly familiar with. When I got there, I called him and he came out of his apartment with another man. I know this photographer for over 20 years as we had worked in high tech together. He is a really good photographer and had a long career in high tech until he got fed up and went to doing photography full time.

Hats off to him and I hope he makes a bundle.

He did me a really huge favor for the Bar Mitzvah pictures so I was more than willing to meet him at his time and place. And that is where I got caught.

All I really wanted to do was pick up the CD and mosey over to a cafe so I could get out this next short story I was working on called "Coincidence". I want to get it out - on paper - because that is how I work. First good old fashioned pen on a good hard back notebook and then into the puter when I want to see the story unfold.

Ahh, but the trap awaited. You see the guy my photographer was visiting, was a visitor from the US, who has come to ply his wares here and show us all how to become great businessmen. I have heard this story so many times it makes me want to puke. But I always enjoy meeting new people and when I heard the visitor to our country had some background not only in High Tech but in security I wanted to hear more.

So I made my way into his apartment and listened to him try and interest me in something that was so not clear to me I thought I was senile. Some plan of doing this and that. Before I knew it I was handed a plastic card and "asked" to come to a meeting on the morrow in a 5 star hotel at which around 50 other people would be attending. Why? That was kind of cloaked in mystery. Something to do with business connections. What this had to do with me I am still clueless about. Why I should listen to the "visitor" well that left me even more clueless. But hell, I wish him luck.

Meanwhile in the apartment we exchanged pleasantries and though I could not get a straight answer out of the visitor as to exactly what it is he is doing, I answered him honestly in what I was up to. Writing, working with agents and publishing. The ups and downs. I made it short and sweet.

When I mentioned writing, of course, he said: "I am writing my book now". I said "great" though I did not ask anymore. By that time I realized that cryptic answers were the visitors "signature" and he wanted to lay this aura of mystery and power around his august chair. I know people like this. I am too old to dig into their aura. Either out with it or have fun holding your secrets. Who the hell has time for cat and mouse games?

Shrugging at the uselessness of all the stuff, I thanked him and made my merry way out of there. Pretentious people are, well, pretentious. Nothing more and nothing less.

Cobwebs Of The Mind

Later on while walking back home and tired as hell, I realized that I had kind of committed to be in a hotel at 8 AM, no less. There was just no way that was going to happen so I called my photographer friend to tell him, and to try and understand in just simple terms what this guy was doing.

So my friend says to me that the moment I left this guy called me a putz. And why did he call me a putz I asked? I am used to pissing people off but I did not in any way shape manner or form do it with the "visitor". Well my photographer friend answers me, that the "visitor" said if I wanted to publish my book, he could make it happen for me in a couple of months.

That was when I laughed. It was honestly a joyous laugh. It took a millisecond to realize that once again I had met the genius of the publishing world who was going to POD or self-publish his book. It took but a second to realize that wherever you go and whatever you do, everyone has such great advice - because they really truly understand the publishing industry.

Not only that but he could do it without ever reading a word I wrote. Now that is a miracle. An arrogant miracle, I admit, but nevertheless a miracle. Wow! An editor, agent and publisher all rolled into one really knowledgeable human being. Look what I passed up. Sheesh.

I had to laugh. I told my friend, that the "visitor" is right. I am a putz. Stupid, idiotic and dumb. Getting published is really that simple. Sigh. Why didn't I learn this years ago! I should really go and POD my work so I can call myself my an author and then invite 50 people to a breakfast in a five star hotel so I can ply my wares to them.

Lesson to be learned. When you go pick up a CD of pictures from a photographer stay away from anyone else. Could you believe it? I really almost had my book published and I turned down the opportunity. Silly me. Stupid me.

One can only shake one's head and wonder at the arrogance of some people. And it was then I realized just how easy it is for a hopeful, naive author to get taken in by people like this.

Cobwebs Of The Mind

All illustrations above are from the Despair.com. All hyperlinks on the posters will take you to their original page @ Despair.com.

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Paula's Poetry said...

Aw you missed your big shot at fame. Chalk it up to one of life's "What Ifs".

People like that are so busy tooting their own horns so loud, we often turn a deaf ear to them and on the off chance something intelligent spews from their lips, we miss it.

I laugh at the fact he told your friend upon your exit that you were a "putz". Maybe I'm wrong but reverting to name calling of people is infantile,unprofessional and just plain silly.

When running into this type of person, I generally look like I'm listening, all the while in my mind I'm thinking " I see your lips moving, but all I hear is blah, blah, blah."

B.E. Sanderson said...

Maybe your friend misunderstood and the guy was calling himself a putz.

See. This is why I don't tell a lot of people that I write. (At least not offline. And online I keep a certain level of anonimity.)