Cobwebs Of The Mind: Scams and Scammers

Showing posts with label Scams and Scammers. Show all posts

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Scam! OMG! Look Who Pulled A Scam On Me!

So there I was all excited because over at At Last! Writer Beware Blogs!, one of the two best Scammer Police Women (Police People?) on the Internet, A.C. Crispin, posted a teaser on the blog a few days ago, Looking Forward to Valentine's Day... In that teaser she wrote:

But I thought I'd just give you a heads-up...Victoria and I have a very special treat planned for our faithful blog readers on Valentine's Day -- because we LOVE you!

So keep watching this space...

Of course great fan that I am of these two denizens of the scammers and contests that should not be contests, I figured we are all going to get a PRESENT! You know - Valentine's Day flowers or chocolate or maybe even a Mug that every time I looked at it reminded me not to fall for the sweet lines and not to delude myself. Something on these lines:

So there I was day after day checking in waiting to get a peek at my Valentine's day present. I was really excited. Hey, one Valentine's Day Gift is better than none right?

Sheesh! Talk about being scammed! NOT FAIR! I want my money back! (Oh wait. I didn't pay anything. Scratches head for a second.) I still want my money back.

So what is the present?

Well in the post, Happy Valentine's Day from Writer Beware!, these two scary ladies begin with:

Well, here it is, the Valentine's "gift" we've been promising our faithful readers for what seems like a long time now: the companion piece to our list of scuzzy agents--Writer Beware's "Two Thumbs Down" publishers list!

Sheesh! What a let down! Now since they did ask to link to the list and not copy and paste it, and since I am still hoping for my mug, I think it is important to follow the rules. As they write:

So...read and enjoy, while you nibble your Godiva truffles. Oh--and if you want to disseminate the list (and we know you will), please link to this post rather than copying and pasting.

But..but..but..but - This stuff is still kind of important. More than kind of if you are looking for an agent or publisher. I am not going to copy the list - (hint hint...where is my mug?) but I am going to just post the headlines of the SEVEN CARDINAL RULES that are posted over at At Last! Writer Beware Blogs! in the post Happy Valentine's Day from Writer Beware!.

I strongly urge anyone who is looking for an agent or publisher or into a contest make At Last! Writer Beware Blogs! a Bookmarked blog and visited often. In short "don't mess with Crispin & Strauss - just listen to them and take their advice".

The following is just the headlines of what you should be watching for. Go and read their whole post - Happy Valentine's Day from Writer Beware!

1. Fee-charging
2. Author-unfriendly contracts
3. Deliberately misleading advertising
4. Conflicts of interest
5. Lack of editorial gatekeeping
6. Poor or inadequate editing.
7. Repeated breach of contractual obligations

Now let us get back to this teaser thing. Next year for Valentine's Day we want something colorful and original. (I am putting in my order way ahead of time!) And since it was Valentine's Day below is the Valentine's Day Picture from Cobwebs Of The Mind to Writer Beware.

Thank you for all your work. Thank you for being there. Thank you for making sure without giving in to fear or intimidation that the "real information" is out there for all those who care to look for it. Thank you for trying to help.

Rose Medidative, c.1958 Art Print
Dali, Salvador
16 in. x 20 in.
Buy at AllPosters.com

The illustration above from Despair.com is linked to the poster on the original page @ Despair.com.

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

Tuesday, February 06, 2007

You Just Got To Love Free Advice

Beware! Long discombobulated story to follow!

So there I was actually minding my own business (which I admit is a rarity). I had to pick up the CD of photographs from my son's recent Bar Mitzvah. (Yep, I talk about that a great deal. Deal with it!) I love walking in the rain and so I decided today would be a good time to walk in the drizzle and rain of Jerusalem.

The photographer told me to meet him on a street I was fairly familiar with. When I got there, I called him and he came out of his apartment with another man. I know this photographer for over 20 years as we had worked in high tech together. He is a really good photographer and had a long career in high tech until he got fed up and went to doing photography full time.

Hats off to him and I hope he makes a bundle.

He did me a really huge favor for the Bar Mitzvah pictures so I was more than willing to meet him at his time and place. And that is where I got caught.

All I really wanted to do was pick up the CD and mosey over to a cafe so I could get out this next short story I was working on called "Coincidence". I want to get it out - on paper - because that is how I work. First good old fashioned pen on a good hard back notebook and then into the puter when I want to see the story unfold.

Ahh, but the trap awaited. You see the guy my photographer was visiting, was a visitor from the US, who has come to ply his wares here and show us all how to become great businessmen. I have heard this story so many times it makes me want to puke. But I always enjoy meeting new people and when I heard the visitor to our country had some background not only in High Tech but in security I wanted to hear more.

So I made my way into his apartment and listened to him try and interest me in something that was so not clear to me I thought I was senile. Some plan of doing this and that. Before I knew it I was handed a plastic card and "asked" to come to a meeting on the morrow in a 5 star hotel at which around 50 other people would be attending. Why? That was kind of cloaked in mystery. Something to do with business connections. What this had to do with me I am still clueless about. Why I should listen to the "visitor" well that left me even more clueless. But hell, I wish him luck.

Meanwhile in the apartment we exchanged pleasantries and though I could not get a straight answer out of the visitor as to exactly what it is he is doing, I answered him honestly in what I was up to. Writing, working with agents and publishing. The ups and downs. I made it short and sweet.

When I mentioned writing, of course, he said: "I am writing my book now". I said "great" though I did not ask anymore. By that time I realized that cryptic answers were the visitors "signature" and he wanted to lay this aura of mystery and power around his august chair. I know people like this. I am too old to dig into their aura. Either out with it or have fun holding your secrets. Who the hell has time for cat and mouse games?

Shrugging at the uselessness of all the stuff, I thanked him and made my merry way out of there. Pretentious people are, well, pretentious. Nothing more and nothing less.

Later on while walking back home and tired as hell, I realized that I had kind of committed to be in a hotel at 8 AM, no less. There was just no way that was going to happen so I called my photographer friend to tell him, and to try and understand in just simple terms what this guy was doing.

So my friend says to me that the moment I left this guy called me a putz. And why did he call me a putz I asked? I am used to pissing people off but I did not in any way shape manner or form do it with the "visitor". Well my photographer friend answers me, that the "visitor" said if I wanted to publish my book, he could make it happen for me in a couple of months.

That was when I laughed. It was honestly a joyous laugh. It took a millisecond to realize that once again I had met the genius of the publishing world who was going to POD or self-publish his book. It took but a second to realize that wherever you go and whatever you do, everyone has such great advice - because they really truly understand the publishing industry.

Not only that but he could do it without ever reading a word I wrote. Now that is a miracle. An arrogant miracle, I admit, but nevertheless a miracle. Wow! An editor, agent and publisher all rolled into one really knowledgeable human being. Look what I passed up. Sheesh.

I had to laugh. I told my friend, that the "visitor" is right. I am a putz. Stupid, idiotic and dumb. Getting published is really that simple. Sigh. Why didn't I learn this years ago! I should really go and POD my work so I can call myself my an author and then invite 50 people to a breakfast in a five star hotel so I can ply my wares to them.

Lesson to be learned. When you go pick up a CD of pictures from a photographer stay away from anyone else. Could you believe it? I really almost had my book published and I turned down the opportunity. Silly me. Stupid me.

One can only shake one's head and wonder at the arrogance of some people. And it was then I realized just how easy it is for a hopeful, naive author to get taken in by people like this.

All illustrations above are from the Despair.com. All hyperlinks on the posters will take you to their original page @ Despair.com.

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Contests, Contests, Contests & Even More Contests

First let me apologize for the break in posts. This past week has been an incredibly busy one with writing and preparations for my son's Bar Mitzvah next weekend. I just had to give up on Blogs and posting and all that stuff to remain a bit of sane.

Many writers see contests as a possible springboard to success--a way to add to their writing resumes, or get a toehold in the industry. However, for novelists, poets, and short fiction writers, few of the hundreds of contests out there have that kind of prestige. So when I came back to my normal perusal of the world of bloggers, writing and events, the one thing that struck me is that everyone and their mommy is talking about contests.

Over at Writer Beware we have no less than three recent posts all devoted to contests etc.
First a really important and informative post: Victoria Strauss -- Evaluating Literary Contests which really should be read by every writer thinking of entering a contest. I will quote from Ms. Strauss's last paragraph. Because if you read anything - burn this into your head.

Last but not least--is it worth it? Many writers see contests as a possible springboard to success--a way to add to their writing resumes, or get a toehold in the industry. However, for novelists, poets, and short fiction writers, few of the hundreds of contests out there have that kind of prestige. A contest will impress an agent or editor only if s/he recognizes it, and a string of obscure contest wins will not strengthen your query letter. Screenwriters have more options, but even so, the reputable contests are outnumbered by the pointless, useless, or deceptive ones.

In Cobwebs Of The Mind we have discussed the Sobol award at great length (Weighing In On The Sobol Award). It seems that due to all the noise, this award was closed down. The post: Victoria Strauss -- Sobol Contest Closes, is important to read because it shows the fairness and thought process and certainly the difficult choice that the Sobol Award presented writers.

Victoria Strauss -- In the Wake of Sobol brings us yet news of another contest over at Gather.com. While Writer Beware does not nix this contest it certainly puts a few real important questions out there. However, over at Pub Rants, agent Kristine Nelson, in her post Look! A Contest Without A Fee discusses the exact same contest in a more positive light.

And lest we not forget Miss Snark. First off, she just ran her own contest "the crapometer". And though no awards are given and no contracts are handed out, I assume this little event, has had the eyes of thousands of writers peeled to her blog, reading every word. Now that the crapometer is over, Miss Snark talks about yet another contest and why she likes it in the post entitled: Contest for unpubbed mystery/thriller writers.

And then as if this all were not enough, again at Writer Beware we have the posts entitled: Victoria Strauss -- Breakthrough Script Showcase: Another Iffy Contest and Victoria Strauss -- News of the Weird: BOOKBEAT TV respectively, all discussing contests and awards.

It seems everyone has contests on the brain. It seems that there is no end to contests and the ability to win "something". Even the lovely (and I use that word in a very cynical way) Gent's Outlook (Super Teddy Award Series For Agents, Editors & Publishers - "A Gent's Outlook") had something to say.

Contests are great. I never entered one just because I know I would loose. I do not judge them so much by how much they cost either. I judge them by who is behind it and what the rules are. If you are a contest "freak" and want to enter one of the zillion contests around, do yourself a favor and check around in Writer Beware and other blogs. Don't enter contests blind. Don't assume that because someone has a web page the contest is legit. On the other hand do not immediately say "no" to every contest. Some are really worthwhile. Some have been around for years. Some are cool and some will give you a bit of prestige. So do your homework.

I can only wonder why during this week - the subject of contests seems to loom large in every blog. But that is the nature of the beast.

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

Sunday, December 10, 2006

Weighing In On The Sobol Award

I have been following at first with just a peek here and there but now with more than an inquisitive interest on the vociferous debate going on about the Sobol Award announced for "agentless fiction writers". So before saying anything let us get all the information and facts down as best as we can. (Note: I personally, would be disqualified from entering this contest for many reasons. So this is not being "shaded" by my own glasses.)

A Bit Of Recent History:

The Sobol Award was originally announced by what seems to be a New Literary Agency who has kind of turned the "traditional" world of publishing on its head. They announced that they would be accepting up to 50,000 fiction novel manuscripts - each having to pay $85 as a submission fee for the unknown and untested award. In turn they announced a prize structure: $100,000 for the winner, $25,000 and $10,000 for the second and third place finalists respectively.

And so the first time I read this release the word SCAM immediately sprung up in red letters lit up like a neon sign. A "new" literary agency, taking money, and then promising hefty prizes. All to familiar. All too ho-hum.

Of course at the time I immediately went to Writer Beware and sure enough the great scam-buster team of Strauss & Crispin had a post about the very contest. Victoria Strauss -- The Sobol Award.

Now whereas Ms. Strauss did stop short of calling this a scam, she was very hesitant in regard to the benefit that would be reaped. And I quote from Victoria Strauss -- The Sobol Award.

So is the Sobol Award a scam? Nothing is impossible, and though I think the size of the entry fee can be adequately explained, I still find it troubling--not least because, since the contest is being run by an organization that apparently will eventually transform itself into a literary agency, it is, in effect, a reading fee (according to the contest rules, literary representation isn't limited to the 10 winners--offers can be extended to semi-finalists). Also, I'd never advise a writer to pay $85 even for a contest of proven, unimpeachable reputation. In my opinion, contests are usually a waste of time, anyway; most writers would do better simply submitting their work for publication.

In my mind I let the matter rest.

If Victoria Strauss says something is really questionable about the Award then it is damn well good enough for me.

Now before I go on, let me make this INCREDIBLY CLEAR. I am not going to endorse the award and its possibilities nor am I going to say it is a scam. I am just going to try and play devil's advocate for the moment showing it from my brain and view (which I readily admit may be totally off and wrong.) And I certainly do not think Crispin & Strauss are wrong in their evaluations. They are right...and yet still there is an inner voice saying that maybe, just maybe, we are beginning to see a change take place. It may not be good for writers in the long run and it may be very commercialized. It may change the way Literary Agents have to work, years from now. It may be a scam. It may be hype and full of bullshit. That is the problem. There is no clear cut answer here but still, if we look at all the information and facts we may come to an informed decision.

This Past Week:

The Sobol Award kicked up into the writers world recently again. First off, if you are not familiar with this award, then please read the web site, The Sobol Award.

What seems to have happened is a combination of two things. First the Sobol Award made a step, (small or huge is up to the way you see it), towards legitimacy by the following announcement. (Read the full press release here.)

The Touchstone Division of Simon & Schuster and Sobol Literary Enterprises, Inc. today announced their agreement to publish all three finalists in the newly created Sobol Award for Fiction, an innovative endeavor to discover talented, unpublished fiction writers and help them achieve the recognition they deserve. The original deadline has been extended to midnight, March 31st, 2007. The awards will be announced in the fall of 2007...

Mark Gompertz, Senior Vice President and Publisher, Touchstone Fireside commented, "We were very impressed with Sobol's plans to harness the broad reach of the internet and through a very well-thought out editorial process find three great works of fiction. We can't wait to read them."

This was coupled with a secondary statement by Sue Pollock stating:

The contest deadline was originally Dec. 31, but Sobol’s executive vice president of contest management, Sue Pollock, acknowledged that response has been slower than expected and that the date had been pushed back to March 31, 2007.

She declined to give an exact number of manuscripts received, but said it was more than 1,000 and that the contest had not been hurt by any criticism.

“It’s been very hard to get the word out,” she told said. “We’re all still learning on the job in terms of publicity. The Internet has been more difficult to penetrate than we had hoped.”

Now before we get into all the noise and objections about this award let us go over what we know about it - (and then we will add some important details!)

Sobol is a new, untested, unknown literary agency with no clients. Sobol has no sales and no clients.
The Award demands an $85 sign up fee.
Anyone entering will theoretically be up against the maximum of 50,000 manuscripts for three prizes.
From the Sobol Web Site: "The winner will receive a prize of $100,000, the first runner up will receive a prize of $25,000 and the second runner up will receive a prize of $10,000. In addition, Simon & Schuster, Inc. has agreed to publish the three winning novels, and to pay substantial advances against royalties (see Official Rules of the Contest) for such novels. Each of the other seven finalists will receive a prize of $1,000."
There is also the promise of publication by Simon & Schuster to publish the winners of the Sobol Literary Enterprises contest under the Touchstone/Fireside banner.
Additionally, again from the Sobol Site there are advances against publication: "The first place winner will receive $100,000 from Sobol as well as an advance against royalties from Simon & Schuster. The second and third places receive $25,000 and $10,000 respectively from Sobol and advances from the publisher."
The Panel of Judges are certainly a very respectable bunch with a great deal of experience in legitimate publishing.

This is adding up to a lot of moolah! And a lot of money being made public in promises by the Sobol Literary Agency coupled with no less than Simon & Schuster. You cannot ignore that name - Simon & Schuster - because no matter how you want to cut the cake it does add something to the legitimacy of the award. Beware though - I did not say it makes this contest legitimate. I said only it adds to the legitimacy of the award.

Let us complicate the good side a bit further. My problem with actually calling this a scam or just another "come-on" began when I took a look at the judges and their credentials. It continued when I sent an email to someone I know in one of those companies and was returned with but the highest of praises for one of those individuals.

You see the judges here are not some fly-by-night people attempting to be editors or garner a name. They are names backed up with real credentials in the publishing field. Take a look at this page on the Sobol Award Site. PANEL OF JUDGES.

Now let us add a bit of fuel to this slowly burning fire. It will come as no surprise that this Award was smacked left, right and center. It will come as no surprise that two factors:

You have to pay a fee to enter
Sobol Literary has NO track record

sent the legitimate voices in publishing into a frenzy. I am going to give you some links, but I will say this much. In the desire for intellectual fairness, any personal attacks on Gur Shomron, who is behind this whole idea are way out of place unless someone can point to something sinister. And that is the problem. No one can really point to anything sinister. So let us show the other side.

First, and to my mind most important, is the post by V. Strauss - The Sobol Award Again. In her normal, calm and well thought-out manner, Ms. Strauss places all the information before the reader. However, I think the most critical passage in her post is as follows:

Of course, there are still questions. Will the contract terms be standard? Will the contracts be negotiable? How about the conflicts of interest inherent in a situation where Sobol the literary agency will be representing authors in contracts offered by a publisher that already has an agreement with Sobol the awards organization? What if one or more of the winning manuscripts is outside of Touchstone's usual areas of interest--will they know how to effectively package and promote such a book? This is not an insignificant question. Being badly published can scuttle a book's chances of success. That's why agents are so careful when they choose where to send a manuscript.

Next. Those who read Cobwebs Of The Mind, know my affinity for Miss Snark. And I have both agreed and disagreed with her in the past. In a post entitled: Let's Review WHY Sobol is a Crock of Shit, Miss Snark also makes it clear in her own very unique voice just what she thinks about this award. Again I quote from what I believe to be her critical points (the bold is mine):

There are NO other contests-not Romance Writers, not the Hillerman, not the Kirkus, NONE, that require you to sign with an agency before winning.

And not just ANY agent; they want you to sign with an agent who has no sales**, isn't an AAR member, and has no understanding of how an agency actually works and what it does. In other words you have an "agent" who doesn't value the role agents play in publishing.

You'd be better off if they required you to NOT have an agent. No agent is less damaging than an incompetent one.

Everything Miss Snark says above is correct. True. Should be listened to and followed. The only thing I have a bit of a problem with is the statement I placed in bold. It makes this whole section sound a bit like "bad apples". (MHO, it should have been left out.) In the case of this award, I think any and all specific attacks on an agency, besides simply stating as Miss Snark does at the end of her post, "Sobol has no sales, no clients, nada zippo zilcho." are not in place. Simply because we have no proof either way if this agency is truly a "crock of shit" or if it is attempting to break in to the publishing world with an entirely new business model. However, Miss Snark once again is correct in almost all that she says. And pay close attention to that last comment, which I will repeat for emphasis: "You'd be better off if they required you to NOT have an agent. No agent is less damaging than an incompetent one."

Publishers Weekly also posted the following, letting the readers decide as usual.

Preditors and Editors also weighed in clearly against the award (and that is also a mighty voice).

In the blog, Pub Rants, run by Kristin a Literary Agent, in a post entitled: Scammers At The Gate, she makes it clear just by the title what she feels about the Award. Read it!

And of course at Absolute Write, here are a varying number of opinions by writers and professionals: Sobol Award/Sobol Literary

I can go on and on with links, but the picture is pretty clear. The powerful and legitimate voices in publishing, all seem to weigh in against the award. (Though some may take affront at Miss Snark's anonymity - but that is neither here nor there cause whoever she/he is, Miss Snark knows the world of publishing and literary agents. Anyone who argues with that needs their head examined.) Some call it a scam straight out, some don't. Some are widely skeptical.

If you notice I am saving the best for last. Cause though the web site of Mediabistro weighed in favor of calling it a scam, it went one step further. And here is a kicker for you! Now here is a case where you must follow the links, because now they are really critical. In a post entitled, The If/Then Clauses in Sobol/S&S Deal, Mediabistro makes it clear just what is going on here by leading us the blog, Buzz, Balls & Hype, and the post: The Sobol Fine Print. The owner of the blog, happened to go through the "tiny details" of the contract posted at the Sobol site. And I quote:

In the event less than 2000 entries meeting the minimum standard criteria of the Contest are timely received by Sponsor, Simon & Schuster reserves the right to not award any publication prize.

With all the press the contest has had so far it's gotten less than 1000 entries. I wonder if there's any chance all the additional negative press will bring in another 1000. That would mean that the contest might never really happen.

And as for Touchstone publishing the book?

The fine print on the same page also says:

Simon & Schuster shall in its sole discretion determine under which of its imprints it will publish the Manuscripts referred to herein.

This is all taken from the Sobol Site: OFFICIAL RULES - The Sobol Award.

Now my eyebrows are going up. That little ditty is not posted anywhere in big print on Sobol's "Contest" or "Awards" pages. It is hidden in a web page of endless words. So certainly now there is more information. Explosive information. In other words if Sobol fails to reach a "get-even" point, forget the whole damn thing.

Now let us see what we have in addition to our list above. I am going to take the best case scenario and the worst:

Best Case Scenario:

You give $85 and win the contest - First Prize. (Assuming there are enough entries!)
You are presented with what seems to be a non-negotiable contract from an untested and untried Literary Agency, which has broken all the rules of the AAR.
You are stuck being represented by possibly a dolt, however, keep in mind the Panel of Judges are not slouches by any means.
You are also penned into a contract with Simon & Schuster (Not bad I admit)
You get $100,000 and advances.
Your book is published.
Your book meets with medium success. (Not trashed not a best seller).
No one on the planet has a clue what the Sobol Prize is, but it is plastered on your book cover, and thus next year the process for the Sobol Literary Agency will be that much easier.
You beat out all the others, your book is published by a reputable publisher, and you dump $100,000 in your bank account - replacing the $85 you took out.
You beat the odds.

Worst Case Scenario:

You pay $85 and you don't win. Nothing.
Or you pay $85 and you win!
The contest does not receive enough entries, and you kiss your entry bye-bye.
Or even if it does, and you won, the quality of entries is just so bad that it is just a joke, and Simon & Schuster realize this.
Simon & Schuster impose the clause, "Simon & Schuster shall in its sole discretion determine under which of its imprints it will publish the Manuscripts referred to herein." In other words they bury your manuscript without any attempt to market it. They write it off at a loss before the ink dries. You my dear writer, are then walking around with a black mark on your forehead. You took the chance and now you have the mark of Cain.
Go try and get another agent (if your contract with Sobol Literary allows you to even do this) when you mention this award. I dare you!

Do you dear writer understand totally what points 3 & 4 really mean in the Worst Case Scenario. Do you really understand them and the consequences?

Because I got news for you. That is the scenario you are going to have to face. All you did was pay $85 to avoid the "stage of a query letter" and being rejected on basis of a query or a partial reading! That is what $85 bucks buys you. Nothing more. Nothing Less.

If you do then I humbly suggest you think long and hard before leaping to electronic submission of your manuscript. Because if you win - you loose. And if you think you are going to loose - then why spend money. Be happy with your normative query rejections.

Ahh, but you ask - "Teddy! What happens if I win the $100,000 and they publish my book?" Yes that is possible. I admit it. A possiblity (perhaps 1 in 50,000 but a possibility), if this is truly NOT a scam. And you know what? You win. You got the money. You published. Now go sell your second book. No matter how much money $100,000 is, it wont last a lifetime. And no matter how beautiful the Gala Dinner is, it is just one night.

So I look at both sides. I see the possibilities and the great yearning. And I admit. I just don't really know. Perhaps I am too cautious in my old age. Perhaps I am not cautious enough.

Will this change the way the literary world does business over time? Will it be a "revolution"? Will it just go down as just another scam? Will you just kick yourself a few months from now when you get the "Thank you but you lost" letter? Or will you win the Lottery?

In the end it is really up to you. In the end it really depends on how informed you are and the knowledge you have about the contest. In the end it depends on just how much of a chance you are willing to take with your own novels and their creation.

So I will stop short of awarding the Sobol Award the Official Cobwebs Of The Mind - Miss Snark Fire Extinguisher Award for Scams & Trollers. Just a bit short. Almost, but no Extinguisher - YET. (And I really wanted to put that picture up again - as we did in the past: Gee Mom...Guess What? I Am Going To Be Famous!)

Me? If I could enter this contest, I would opt to save the $85 and buy my son a Hanukkah present with it. I will get much more satisfaction and much more happiness and an incredible amount more in return. Spending it on an untested award with untested people with a literary agency that has no track record (and is not owned by someone madly in love with me), in a world where the "fine print" makes all the difference - hell I might as well walk outside my house and throw the $85 singles into the wind. After all - "The answer, my friend, is blowing in the wind. It is blowing in the wind."

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

Monday, December 04, 2006

Gee Mom...Guess What? I Am Going To Be Famous!

Recently over at the good ole Gin water-hole, the honorable, glorious, revered, incredibly sexy and brilliant Miss Snark presented us with a post entitled: "Crock of Shit alert". In this wondrous piece of literature Her Most Wondrous Holiness, presented us with a possible scam created just to separate authors from their money.

As readers of Cobwebs Of The Mind may know by now, I pay close attention to the great emails that come in to my system from poetry.com and its various other business names. I have a special affinity for the folks over at poetry.com and all their affiliates. (see: When Is Being Published NOT Being Published? and There Is A Sucker Born Every Minute.)

I have learned to get a kick out of the way they present themselves and legitimize a perfectly and totally sordid business of pure bullshit. It scares me, because the emails are getting ever-more-sophisticated and I am 100% sure there are hundreds if not thousands out there that are parted from their money without ever thinking they are being scammed.

So before you ask me first go here and read this: Getting the Scoop on Poetry Contest Scams. Try Wikipedia's entry on "Poetry.com". Or just type the words: poetry.com scam into Google, Yahoo or MSN. That should make you think twice before you leap.

So in the tradition of Miss Snark's Crock of Shit alert I present you with my newest email from Mr. Steven J. Michaels, (whose email address happens to be, SMichaels@poetrylink.com, just in case you wish to send him a love postcard.)

And before I forget the following email gets the Official Cobwebs Of The Mind - Miss Snark Fire Extinguisher Rating (saved for those especially dumb scammers and trollers.)

Now in order for you, dear reader, to follow my answer to these wonderful people, I have bolded and numbered my comments! Thus you can follow along as easily as following the bouncing ball!

Dear Ted,

It's something we don't often do, [1] but after reading and discussing your poetry , the [2] Editorial Advisory Board of the International Library of Poetry has nominated you for membership in the most exciting poetry organization in the world-- [3] the International Society of Poets!

The Editorial Advisory Board wholeheartedly agrees that your poetic writings warrant nomination into the International Society of Poets-- [4] a poetry organization that is world-renowned and dedicated to recognizing poetic talent such as yours. As [5] Chairman, I want to personally inform you about all the new benefits of Membership, and I did not want you to miss out on this opportunity. Ted, I know that after hearing what we are about, you will join us as a member of our society--the International Society of Poets!

You'll receive many tangible benefits when you become a member. There are two levels of membership, and I am positive one of them will fit your poetic needs. Whatever membership category you choose, we look forward to your participation in our organization for many years to come. Click here to see the full list of these very important membership items. But perhaps more importantly, you'll be joining fellow poets from more than 60 different nations in the largest poetry organization in the world--an organization dedicated to recognizing, awarding, and promoting the poetic talent of our members and . . .

Renew now and receive a FREE NATIONAL ENTERTAINMENT® BOOK!

If you renew your membership now, we will send you a free Entertainment® 2007 National Edition Discount Book. Entertainment® is the book we all love for savings on shopping, dining, travel, and more. This addition includes hundreds of exclusive offers that will save you thousands of dollars on many of the things you love to do and buy.

An organization you can be proud of!

[6] Noted for our charitable contributions and our accomplishments in furthering poetic endeavors, the International Society of Poets maintains a reputation for bringing poetry to more people and to more nations than any other organization in the world.

Whether you write poetry for the satisfaction it gives you, or as a personal way to record your innermost feelings, or as a hobby, through your membership you and your poetry will be recognized by thousands of people from all over the world. And Ted, it's a great feeling to know they're interested in you, and that your poetry is being read and enjoyed by others. [7] In fact, by enrolling in the International Society of Poets membership program, you and your artistry will receive international recognition.

You'll even have the opportunity to meet and share your poetry with other members. As a member, I will extend a personal invitation to our yearly convention, which is world-renowned for bringing together poets of all ages and nationalities who share a common love of poetry. These motivating educational events are full of camaraderie and mutual admiration for our poetic endeavors.

The poetic event of the year!

[8] This year, our conference in Las Vegas, Nevada, drew nearly 3,000 poets from 64 nations around the world! We believe this to be one of the largest single gatherings of poets in history. [9] At our conventions, our members have had the opportunity to meet and discuss poetry with former Chancellor of Academy of American Poets, David Wagoner; Poet Laureate, Fleda Brown; Mellon Poetry Prize Winner, Herbert Woodward Martin; and Pulitzer Prize Winner, W.D. Snodgrass. [10] We've been entertained by such acts as Johnny Cash, John Denver, the Smothers Brothers, and Tony Orlando just to name a few . . . [11] not to mention cash and gift prizes totaling over $100,000 awarded to amateur poets.

[12] Over the last ten years, our organization has awarded over $1 million dollars to poets just like you. As a member, you will have a chance to win your share of these prizes. Whether you write structured poetry or free verse, you'll find these contests to be exciting and rewarding events. You'll be invited to participate in exclusive contests for members only and winners are published in the internationally distributed magazine, Poetry Today.

[13] Poetry Today . . . A new award-winning magazine!

And what a magazine it is! Our award-winning magazine, with its new design and format, is included with each membership. Our magazine covers a lot of what's going on in poetry in the United States and around the world. In each magazine, there is a special emphasis on you and other members. There are contest announcements and results, members' poetry prominently displayed in our publication, coverage of what's happening in the lives of our members, the craft of writing poetry, and many other special features. Poetry Today is also your key to finding out about our members-only contests, what types of poems judges look for, and how to improve your craft of writing and chances of winning.

Join the International Society of Poets now, Ted, and you'll become one of the recognized leaders of your craft. [14] Your friends, family, and colleagues will look to you as an example of experience, vision, and accomplishment in the poetic world. Your society will look to you for your unique perspective as expressed through your poetry. I'm sure we'll soon be seeing you and your poetry featured in Poetry Today.

Click here or go to
[yeah right] us today.

Sincerely,

Steven J. Michaels
Chairman, Board of Trustees
International Society of Poets

[15] P.S. Ted, we accept only a limited number of members each year and by accepting your invitation now, your benefits will begin immediately and you will promptly receive your membership items through the mail along with your Free Entertainment® 2007 National Edition Discount Book. Most importantly, we will welcome you as a member of the largest poetry organization in the world--the International Society of Poets.

Dear Mr. Michaels:

OMG! I am gushing with JOY! To be nominated to your society. This is something only dreams are made of. It is the stuff of the Yellow Brick Road and clicking my heels together (okay I don't really wear high heels, but as a poet I do have a literary license, don't I?)

Mr. Michaels, let me assure you that this is one of the greatest honors ever to have been offered me. Why just last week, the Assistant Finance Minister of Nigeria sent me an email telling me that he really needs my help to free up a will with over $10 Million dollars in it. All he needed from me was a lousy $25 grand to get the ball rolling! I mean, hahahaha, even I can do that math. $25 grand investment for $10 cool million dollars! What a deal! This must be my lucky month!

I do have a few questions though, Mr. Michaels. So just in order for clarification, because you see my children think that this has to be some sort of suckers deal. Let me assure you, I know you are serious. But in order to convince my cynical, suspicious children please just answer a few small itty-bitty and innocent questions.

[1] "but after reading and discussing your poetry" - don't for a moment think I am not honored here. Even more so honored, because I have never published or submitted a word of poetry to you in my life! That is amazing though. I even went to the poetry.com web site, and did a search for my name, and could not come up with anything. So please, again just for the sake of the kids, so I don't look too senile, can you tell me what poetry you are talking about? (And send back the text to. I have to read it, just in case the kids test me on it!)

[2] "Editorial Advisory Board of the International Library of Poetry" - Okay now I am a bit stumped. I did not want to seem stupid in the face of such an august body. So I just dumped that search term into Google. Mr. Michaels! This must be some great CIA secret. Because not one search engine can return any meaningful result for your Editorial Advisory Board of the International Library of Poetry. Please, I am just so excited by your offer, if you could be good enough to send me specific names and emails of those on your board, and of course their illustrious credentials. Again, as you can understand, blame it on the kids!

[3] "the International Society of Poets!" - Hmm! There must be some mistake! Sue Google! Sue Yahoo! Mr. Michaels, this is dastardly. I plugged in the term "International Society of Poets" to Google and do you know what returned? OMG. Mr. Michaels. Such lies. Every single link was about some other International Society of Poets which was a scam!!!!!! Mr. Michaels I think you should change the name of the Society. Otherwise people are going to think you are the scam. We can't have that can we?

[4] "a poetry organization that is world-renowned" - Now I know you are joshing me. You must have worked very hard to keep this organization a secret. Cause there is not a hint of it on the Internet. Now, Mr. Michaels. I respect the need for your secrecy. After all there must be a million poets after you for favors. BUT, please, just a little more information on your world-renowned organization would really help me out.

As [5] "Chairman" - Hey, Mr. Michaels. I am beginning not to like this. If you are chairman then why can't I even find your name in Google? Something is beginning to smell funny here.

[6] "Noted for our charitable contributions and our accomplishments in furthering poetic endeavors, the International Society of Poets maintains a reputation for bringing poetry to more people and to more nations than any other organization in the world." - Our family really respects charitable contributions. Since you are a society and you are a business, would you mind sending us a list of amounts and to whom you make your donations to. This would really get a lot of brownie points with my ungrateful and cynical children who are insisting that you are nothing but a scam artist who should be jailed. (Don't listen to them Mr. Michaels. I still love you!)

[7] "In fact, by enrolling in the International Society of Poets membership program, you and your artistry will receive international recognition." - OMG! Now I know you are joking! International recognition? Really? Who? Where? What? Am I going to be like nominated for a prize? Will I meet the Queen of England? The President of the US? Will I at least meet Ahmadinejad? (I am sure you can arrange that meeting...I mean one scammer to another and all that?)

[8] "This year, our conference in Las Vegas, Nevada, drew nearly 3,000 poets from 64 nations around the world!" - You just cannot beat that for inspiration. Poetry and the slots. My oh My! What a way to go!

[9] "At our conventions, our members have had the opportunity to meet and discuss poetry with former Chancellor of Academy of American Poets, David Wagoner; Poet Laureate, Fleda Brown; Mellon Poetry Prize Winner, Herbert Woodward Martin; and Pulitzer Prize Winner, W.D. Snodgrass." - Such names! Such a setting. Such a venue. Now the kids are insistent here. And now Mom is getting into the act, calling me a "gullible boob!" Can you believe it Mr. Michaels? Me? A gullible boob for believing your letter? So I need to see pictures, and need to see somewhere on the Internet or in a newspaper that these people were really at your conference. It is not that I do not believe you - it is the rest of my family!

[10] "We've been entertained by such acts as Johnny Cash, John Denver, the Smothers Brothers, and Tony Orlando just to name a few" - Okay, now at least you are talking Turkey!

[11] "not to mention cash and gift prizes totaling over $100,000 awarded to amateur poets." - and here I MUST insist. Before I accept your magnanimous offer, I will need the email address of these people, to verify this to the kids. (Mom said if I believe you, she and the kids will sell me the Brooklyn Bridge! They think I was born yesterday. Silly family!)

[12] "Over the last ten years, our organization has awarded over $1 million dollars to poets just like you." - As above, I must insist on the email addresses, records and testimonials of these people. (Not just a picture with a first name!)

[13] "Poetry Today . . . A new award-winning magazine!" - I did find your magazine on line. But try as I might, no awards are mentioned. I know this is once again a dastardly mistake and evil plan by the trinity cabal of Google, Yahoo and MSN. So can you tell me what awards you did receive, and who exactly awarded them, and when they were awarded, and why your magazine got them?

[14] "Your friends, family, and colleagues will look to you as an example of experience, vision, and accomplishment in the poetic world." - The kids say the ONLY people who will read my poems, which I never write anyway, (but who's telling?) will be them! Tell me this is not true. Tell me you distribute all over the world to poets and publishers and editors everywhere. Tell me how good you are. I WANT TO GIVE YOU MY MONEY!

[15] "P.S. Ted, we accept only a limited number of members each year and by accepting your invitation now, your benefits will begin immediately and you will promptly receive your membership items through the mail along with your Free Entertainment® 2007 National Edition Discount Book. Most importantly, we will welcome you as a member of the largest poetry organization in the world--the International Society of Poets." - Will I also get a merit badge? I mean Mom would love one of those!

Mr. Michaels, I breathlessly await your answers. Until then, I will scream it from the rooftops:

Gee Mom...Guess What? I Am Going To Be Famous!

Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Avoidance Of The Excuse Of Ignorance

In many, many posts I have tried to warn, explain and otherwise make it clear about scams that seem to perpetuate and are geared for writers. I have tried to do this in a straightforward manner in posts such as When Is Being Published NOT Being Published?; and There Is A Sucker Born Every Minute; and even in my ongoing "Writing & Despair Happy Hour Series" (to which I thank all of you for the great emails I am getting - but leave a comment...sheesh!) "Writing & Despair Happy Hour Series - Part 5". (Also see Kristen King's great blog Inkthinker and the post entitled: Ignorance is not bliss; it's just ignorance)

Now while the object or purpose of Cobwebs Of The Mind is not to concentrate on scams, from time to time it is important to post information for authors who need to know that such exists. It seems though even with the plethora of Blogs out there warning and warning again about scams, there is no end to the ingenuity of scams for writers. Perhaps it is perceived that writers as an overall community are willing to pay out good money for dreams. I do not know. But in this post I am just offering the writing community a varied list of places to go and check out BEFORE you decide to put your hard earned money on the table. I hope this helps. And I hope you learn from what you read on the various web-sites and blogs posted here.

Writer Beware Blogs! this should be your first stop. Period. If it is a known scam it will be listed here and discussed and search the archives. I personally have emailed Victoria Strauss twice about a request for information. She has always been fairly prompt, always incredibly nice, and always forthcoming with the information. This blog is your first and most important step to the world of writing scams. Just take a look at her recent entry, "Victoria Strauss -- The Identity of Author Identity" to see how much work and effort she goes through to make sure her facts are correct and totally right.
Absolute Write Bewares and Background Check - This is your next stop. You do not have to be a member of Ablsolute Write to view these threads. You can search for a name of an agent or agency at your leisure and find out if anything has been said about them and what. This is a critical resource of information, and perhaps the most important reason for Ablsolute Write to exist on the Internet.
Preditors & Editors' - Your next stop. Here I will quote from their About Page to give you an understanding of what they are about in terms of scamming. (They have other really important purposes too for writers.)

"Preditors & Editors' sole purpose is to provide writers with information and contacts for the purpose of seeking publication of their work. Because artists, composers, and game designers often face the same challenges, they have been included in our coverage...."

"...After considerable thought, we realized that Preditors & Editors would perform a disservice to writers, artists, and composers if it does not warn them about known scams or problems within the industry. Consequently, the policy of not criticizing any publishers, publications, writing services, or resources was changed as of 28 September 1997. A new Warnings page can now be referenced by anyone interested in protecting himself. However, most warnings are posted beside the appropriate entries in the listings so that those can be found easier. Additionally, we are very interested in learning about anyone who treats writers shabbily, even if they don't have anything to do with writing."
AgentQuery - This is a place where most writers who look for reputable agents go to. Here you can discover web sites, email addresses and the like along with the fact if they are members of the AAR or another group that gives a stamp of approval for an agent. And Again I quote from their Home Page:

"Agent Query has been recognized by Writer's Digest Magazine May 2006 Issue as one of the Best Websites for Writers. Second Year in a Row!

Agent Query offers the largest, most current searchable database of literary agents on the web—a treasure trove of reputable, established literary agents seeking writers just like you. And it's free (not because there's a catch, but simply because not enough things in this world are free). "
Backspace is also a place you may want to visit. Lots or interviews and interesting information for writers.

"The Backspace Community is dedicated to helping writers navigate the often confusing world of Big Publishing. With over 400 members from a dozen countries and a constantly revolving line-up of guest speakers including literary agents, editors, and authors, the online forums are a virtual writer's conference that runs year round."
AAR - Association of Authors' Representatives, Inc. - This is where you can discover if your agent is a member of the AAR. While not critical if your agent is listed here, you have little to worry about usually. Read their CANON OF ETHICS

There are many more sites. These though are pretty much where you will find the information you need. If you do not find it and Google produces nothing in your search for the Agent's name, then be wary. I certainly would suggest a trip over to Writer Beware Blogs! if all else fails, and an email to A.C. Crispin or Victoria Strauss.

Okay there you have it. A somewhat partial list. If you know of any more sites to really recommend please leave a comment and I will add them to the original post.

Now there is no excuse: Avoidance Of The Excuse Of Ignorance. Don't say you did not have the tools. Don't say you were not informed. Don't jump for joy until you know just why you are jumping for joy when an Agent says: "Here is my contract. Please sign it!"

Be aware. Be knowledgeable. Be smart. And avoid costly mistakes.

Don't Be Cheap! Leave A Comment Below. I Promise Not To Bite!

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Writing And Despair Happy Hour (Part 5)

The saga must continue....

Welcome to Part Five of the Writing & Despair Happy Hour!

Entitled:

The Totally Fictional Tale Of The Wannabe Literary Agent(s)

subtitled:

You Get What You Pay For & Then Some!

Once upon a time, not long ago, in a land where dreams always came true, and some very lucky people had money trees growing in their backyard, a little girl grew up as all little girls should grow up, playing with her friends and going to school. This little girl whose name was Babs, always wanted to be the most popular girl in her group of friends. She had brains and wit and good looks. But for some reason, no matter what Babs put her hand to, it came out all wrong. Thus after awhile, children being much smarter than adults give them credit for, her friends, who knew Babs very well, let her play with them but also learned to ignore her need for attention and demands to lead the group.

Over the years, as is the nature with humankind, Babs grew into a woman. And over the years she also watched her friends and other people, and began to understand that most people in her land where dreams came true and money trees were scarce but not too scarce, would be very willing to part with that money if someone would just promise them that their dream would come true. Unfortunately though, Babs, try as she would, never could excel at anything she was doing. This combination of knowledge of her fellow humans and her inability to excel forced Babs to some serious conclusions.

In short, Babs grew up into a very cagey, cynical woman.

Along the way Babs also learned that in her land of dreams everything was about presentation and as long as she could present herself in the right and proper manner, no matter how ignorant she was of the topic at hand, it would almost guarantee success among the more ignorant no matter what her track record in real production was. Babs knew that in selling dreams she could do and say almost anything she pleased. She could be pompous, self-aggrandizing, and full of her own self. After all if you sell dreams people will forgive you for almost anything.

Now since Babs happened to like reading and coupling that with her cynical though very true outlook on her world, and knowing that people would pay almost anything from their money trees to achieve their personal dream in the land where dreams came true, Babs decided to become of all things, a literary agent.

Now Babs may have been a lot of things but she was not stupid and she sure as hell was not going to do this for free. So Babs studied the weaknesses of her fellow inhabitants of the planet, and understood that though she could not be good at what she wanted to do, as the publishers and editors never took her seriously, she knew that she would never be able to sell them a manuscript from one of her clients. And thus Babs developed a unique idea. She would make money off her clients. It seemed fair. It seemed right.

"Hey, after all," Babs said to herself, "doesn't everyone agree you get what you pay for? So let them pay me. Who cares if I am good or not? All I have to do is convince those suckers that I can make their dreams come true if they are only willing to part with some of their money, and the rest is a piece of cake!"

And so, without credentials, without skills, without contacts and with only very mediocre abilities Babs set out into the world of publishing, literary agents and writers.

You see Babs truly discovered the secret of the siren call.

And so Babs opened up her agency. She advertised for clients. But she was real cagey. She demanded, as all her fellow agents did, query letters. And of course, hundreds and thousands of query letters began to pour in from all points on the globe, into the "Make Your Dreams Come True Literary Agency LLC". And when they began to arrive Babs just perused them to make sure that not too many spelling mistakes were made, (after all she could not deal with illiterates could she?).

Most of the query letters received the following answer, sent, mind you, to the query letter owner, in an envelope and a stamp paid for by the query letter owner. Babs had a good chuckle at that because she even saved on postage fees! And so the bait was placed on the hook of the query letter answer. And was it great bait. Guaranteed - 99% it would not fail to hook the fish. Babs knew how to hook them. Yes she did!

Dear Author:

We really liked your query and thought your work deserves merit. Please excuse this form letter, but the volume of business at Make Your Dreams Come True Literary Agency LLC has grown tremendously and though we refuse to give up our search for talented new writers such as you seem to be. Please send me your manuscript so I can make a studious and fair evaluation. Make sure you enclose an SASE as well, as due to the volume and nature of my business, the agency will not consider any submission without an SASE. If we like your work we will be in touch within 21 days and let you know how to proceed.

Good Luck

Babs

Oh, how happy Babs made hundreds of query letter writers. They finally found an agent who was willing to look at what they wrote. It did not matter that out of 120 query letters sent out for the same manuscript 119 form rejections came back. Because Babs was the one who said YES!

And so these hopeful authors, printed out their works on clean, shiny paper and with hope in their hearts and a prayer in their soul - they sent out their manuscript addressed to:
Make Your Dreams Come True Literary Agency LLC
Attn: Babs
with those coveted words on the front:
"Solicited Material Enclosed"

Now Babs had a very orderly system when those manuscripts came in. She would open them, skim them for around 5-10 minutes and place them in a pile on another desk clearly marked with the date of receipt. Exactly 21 days later Babs would open them again, take a look over her morning coffee, and if the spelling was not too bad, and the manuscript did not start with a sex scene (cause Babs found that disgusting), Babs would now send out her real hook.

That is how the infamous Killigore Trout got hooked. Oh yes he did.

Dear Killigore:

I loved your submission entitled "How The Universe Burped" and loved the idea behind it. However, based upon your submission, I believe your manuscript needs the help of professional editing. With professional editing I am sure I can sell this to a publishing house. Additionally as you know we do incur expenses in the submission process. All in all, all I am asking to only partially cover these expenses is a paltry $1000. Remember, publishing is a business. And in a business you get what you pay for.

Upon receipt of $1000 and your signature on our contract (it only locks you into a three year exclusive deal with us at $1000 a year which is a cheap price to pay for fame and stardom), you will officially be a client of the Make Your Dreams Come True Literary Agency LLC and will receive my personal, undivided attention. (And as a bonus I will send you your very own Member badge which reads: "Babs Loves Me".

I am excited at the prospect of us working together. Do not delay.

Sincerely,

Babs

And so Killigore and hundreds like him became clients of the Make Your Dreams Come True Literary Agency LLC. Once that money arrived Babs took the manuscript into a room in her office reserved for her "clients". This room she called "The Sucker Room" and there she officially filed the manuscript away.

You see Babs had learned life's lessons well. No publisher would return her calls. No editor would even read a letter she sent to them. She really could not do anything in the publishing industry. But Babs would be damned if she was not going to enjoy and make money from what she was doing.

Being Inept at running a bona-fide Literary Agency did not stop Babs for one moment. No sirree. It certainly did not. She was enjoying herself all the way to the bank.

And so it came to pass that others out there slowly but surely caught on to Babs. Not the authors mind you, because they were positive their dreams would come true. But in this make believe world where there is one Babs you can be real sure there will be others. They multiplied and multiplied. And then one day, one of the imitators who was making good money off of people's dreams and his incompetence, said to himself:

"Hey, this is dumb. If one Literary Agency makes me oodles of money, then ten will make me oodles times ten."

And with that discovery Dr. Whatmacallit proceeded to open ten agencies all under different names but all having the word "Literary" in it - to attract the dreamers. Oh, dear reader, do not worry. There was no need to open an office and no great expense was involved. All it took was a $10 dollars to buy an Internet Name and a three page web site. And of course, all that great expense was recovered with the first dreamer to submit their manuscript. Imagine that! Being able to scam people and claim it as a legitimate business expense to boot!

And so efforts were doubled and money poured in. Who said Incompetence does not pay off?

But..But..But...this is not the end of the tale...

For in writer land there were a few who did notice the absolute mediocrity, incompetence and ineptitude of these cynical, fee-taking literary agents. And they let out a cry. And they warned. And they pleaded. And they begged. The cry went forth:

"Literary Agents Do Not Make Money Until You Do. Money Flows To The Author - Not From The Author. Do Not Pay A Person Claiming To Be An Agent If They Ask For Money Up Front. This Is A Scam. And They Will Take Your Money & Destroy Your Dreams."

And the cry began to be heard. The incompetent agents noticed a big decline in their daily deposits of dream money. And they got up in arms. They were angry - oh yes they were. How dare someone call them at their game? How dare some impudent and actually published authors, editors, and bona fide literary agents who belonged to such silly groups as the AAR challenge them? No way. They would stop this insurrection. Oh yes they would. To the Lawyers they marched. To their word processors they went. They were going to shut down any business and any Internet Forum or Web Site that dared challenge them.

Because they knew the tried and true lesson of Power.

Postscript to Our Tale:

And so dear reader and writer and author at the end of our tale we must warn you. Though arrogance and intimidation did not work, you must be wary. Sometimes if you act like a fool, then you will certainly get what you pay for. Always remember that it is not only what you pay, but who is cashing that check of yours as well.

If you don't learn to rule your own Destiny, then Destiny is going to come and bite you right in the ass. Then you will truly be able to say to the literary agent you paid to fulfill your dreams: