Now This Is All I Need - A Second Life!

It has been oh-so-long since publishing in Cobwebs Of The Mind. But like a wayward child it is gone and not forgotten.

I have much news to report from the writing world, and over the next couple of weeks some of the dedicated may learn about some really new and exciting markets opening up with serious people.

But first where was I? Oh my oh my. Writing, creating FaceBook Applications and more recently exploring the world of Second Life. Now for those of you who have no clue what Second Life is, and I am sure there are many, you should take a peek at the web-site Second Life.

Second Life is a graphic environmentally rich world, though not a social network like Facebook, put contains much power and some incredible things. For the techie in me it was hard to resist. So finally after being cajoled by a friend to finally in their words "would you at least try it!", I took the plunge into an avatar based system which certainly is at the cutting edge of 3D graphics on a computer screen.

Second Life can be anything you wish it to be. After all that is the purpose of a rich, animated (and I do mean animations!), graphic, colorful environment. It has gadzillions of SIMS (Simulated Worlds), it is based on real estate and you can shop, and buy and meet people and....and...and...


In other words, Second Life, in many ways mimics our real lives. It is fun and to the techie sometimes awesome.

But wait this is Cobwebs Of The Mind! Hits head! Smacks self. This is not a blog about graphics and technology. But as usual my dear readers, there is method to my total and complete madness (shush up those comments from the peanut gallery).

Second Life is replete with writers and authors. Lest you think we are only talking about the wannabes, forget it. Koontz made an appearance in Second Life. You can watch a Shakespere play in SL with voice. You can meet published and famous authors all the time in Second Life.

There are also various SIMS dedicated to writers, which I gravitated to. These SIMS have an ever growing amount of events for writers. Poetry, Novels and Short Stories are all represented. Readings, courses, workshops...it is really a growing and very interesting place for a writer to learn and to be.

Of course, as all over, the scammers are there as well, trying to take advantage of naïve writers. But we know this to be an evil we live with, and thus it should come as no surprise to any of us that some have invaded Second Life.

Well where are we going with all this? After meeting up with some published authors from all over the world, (and we will be doing some interviews with some of them, as their books are about to come out), it was fun to become an active part of the community. I teach three different workshops in Second Life, all well attended all fun, all with great people.

There are also some fairly interesting literary mags. available in Second Life. It of course is an extension of Internet/Ebook Publishing, though not in the same way. Protection in this closed environment is fairly good. And we will be doing an interview with an editor or two of these magazines to give you an idea of what they are looking for and how to submit.

They don't pay yet, this is a very expermental avenue, but a growing one, and most of the magazines have huge readerships, plus all have plans to move into the normative print medium. This is not something any writer looking for other avenues of publishing should ignore.

So, along with the normative posts we will be doing some on Second Life. Beware though, I have some really funny stories to tell.

By the way if you are already a Second Life member, come on over and visit me at Written Word in the SIM called Cookie. My Second Life identity is "Kitviel Silberberg" (shhhhh...don't tell anyone) and I am giving workshops on Blogging, Short Story Writing, and Ebook and Publishing Rights.

You will find the free Downloads of PDF summaries of all the Workshops by clicking here.

And if you are not then take a look at Second Life. Just don't get addicted!

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

The Book Will Not Make You Succeed - You Make The Book Succeed

Way back on June 22, 2006, I published a piece here at Cobwebs Of The Mind, called, "Viral Technology - An Introduction". This piece was aimed at bloggers and trying to help them understand what in the end causes one site to be successful while another fails. MySpace and more recently, FaceBook, are excellent examples of "viral" technology at work. Especially Facebook, which seems to grow in astronomical terms.

Up until the other day I viewed Facebook as a curiouso. I thought of it as another MySpace only a lot more technologically minded, in that it's structure was open and allowed people to contact others with a unique method of causing everyone to enter the system and spreading the word. Even the Home Page of the user screams "viral system".

I personally used Facebook simply because a good friend asked me to join, and then I could be kept abreast of some parties and events they organize and go to. Most of the time I ignored it. Another click and a massive waste of time. Then one day, my nieces, somehow found me on Facebook and sent me messages. Of course they told me not to hit on any of their friends and to change my picture! But they also told me it is boring because I only have one friend listed!

So my nieces became my friends and then my nephew. I was up to four friends! Now, the original person who instigated my joining Facebook to begin with, started bugging me to "get more friends" as well. Relentless, she was. Drove me bonkers.

So one day I log in, and in a moment of madness, I allow Facebook to read all my Gmail contacts, saying to myself, "o.k. out of all these people in my gmail account maybe one or two will show up". Boy was in for a shock. My friends list went from four to Zoom.

So what does this all have to do with Writing?

Ahh two important points here. Here was my big shocker. In my private email account which I used for Facebook, there were quite a few agents, editors etc. Most of these agents I had queried at one time or another. And suddenly, they were showing up as friends in Facebook! Now that may not be astounding for you, but to me it was an eye-opener. And I will try and explain.

You see, I have always looked at the mysterious world of getting published, as being somewhat arcane and behind the times. Just witness the amount of agents who still refuse to accept any query or submission via email and you may get my drift. It also is a very slow moving world. Of course agents, editors and publishers think they move fast enough thank you very much, but truth be told they are no where near to speed as other industries.

Another factor is something I have noticed as well. In my mind I call them the "traditionalists". These are the people who resist any change, any nuance of innovation in the publishing industry. Any type of change smacks of a new way to take advantage of writers. And whereas, readers of Cobwebs Of The Mind know I am a great fan of sites such as Writer Beware, who does an awesome job, I still find much of the way we work and how we work to be in the middle ages.

So yes, I was kind of shocked at this sudden ability to view profiles and gasp!, even pictures of the agents who were second to God to me for much of my writing life (though no more).

And this whole experience got me to thinking about the nature of the game. Publishers and agents will tell you this, without any embarrassment, nor should there be, that if you want to break in to a non-fiction field, you must have what is known as "name recognition". This is just another term for "viral systems". In this case your own name is a "viral" system. Your own expertise. They rely on word of mouth in almost the exact same way that Facebook does.

So if you are an unknown novelist or non-fiction writer, what you must do in your search for a successful career in writing, is create your own "FaceBook". You must "market" yourself. You must be smart and allow people to know who you are and spread your own FaceBook around. This is not a secret by the way. It is simple common sense.

The day your ms. is accepted for publication is the day you need to start being a FaceBook. Not when the book is published, and not even on the pre-publication date. But months before. You need to "spread the word", "create the hype", and put notices up on your "wall" in your own Facebook. How do you do this? That is an excellent question, and I will share one failure which I had in this area.

I run quite a few blogs as hobbies. I am not one of those believers that you are going to make zillions on blogs. Topics of interest to me actually. One of those blogs is named, Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen. This blog is described by myself as:

A humorous look into the adventures of a single parent who learned the hard way and with a great deal of trepidation how to cook, feed his children, friends and the rare date with a measure of dignity and (hopefully) good food - Recipes Included! And it is all KOSHER to boot!

(No this is not a plug for the blog!) When I began Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen, it was a mixture of frustration and just a desire to entertain a few people. Frustration because I had tried to sell a humourous though "real" book on recipes and humor, to the publishers aptly named of course "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen". My agent at the time loved the idea. But I had NO "name recognition" - I had no "Facebook". So the answers came back and almost all said, along the lines, "Great idea. Good reading. But no commercial name recognition."

Lots of terms were used but it all boiled down to "Who the hell is this guy who is writing recipes? Is he famous? Is he on TV or Radio? Is he a famous chef?" Witness the success of the new cookbook by Jessica Seinfeld, Deceptively Delicious, (wife of the famous Jerry Seinfeld).

So on the advice of a friend I just took Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen from a book into blog format. And to my total shock, and I do mean complete and total shock, the blog "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen" became famous in just a couple of months. It won awards. It had thousands of hits a week. People from all over the world were submitting recipes, and kosher ones to boot.

So after a few months, I tried again on the book vein. After all, I could now lay claim to the fact that "Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen", as a book was a viable and popular project. I could prove it with numbers. To me it was a no-brainer. And guess what? Again I got back:

"Who the hell is this guy who is writing recipes? Is he famous? Is he on TV or Radio? Is he a famous chef?"

My own "FaceBook" still did not make it in the big leagues. It was a frustrating lesson and a depressing one to boot. But a real one. In 99% of the cases, the book is not going to make you famous or rich or sought after - You are going to make the book! In other words: The Book Will Not Make You Succeed - You Make The Book Succeed.

Publishing is moving forward. But your work is not going to become an overnight sensation even if you have a thousand friends in Facebook. You need to create and work on, along with writing your book, your own Facebook. So anyone who told you the business of a new, fledging writer is to write, and only to write, is full of crap. You don't only have to write. You have to sell yourself. You need to create your own unique Facebook.

Oh, and by the way, before I forget. I am Ted Gross on FaceBook. So add me as your friend. My nieces are telling me that I really do need more friends!!!!

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

The Marriage Between American Idol And A Star Is Born

I can remember the first time I saw my children watching "American Idol" I told them I did not want to see that program on my television. Of course I got laughed at and ignored and they made me watch a whole show to prove that it was a colossal waste of time. But one does not argue with success nor can one argue these days with Simon or House or the rest of the fad that ingrains the viewers with the message - "Nasty is good. Nasty is important. If you want to get ahead, be nasty" message. But enough ranting about the educational messages of television and society.

Thing is "American Idol" is incredibly popular as is the knock off of it in Israel, "A Star Is Born". Everyone and their pet cat seems to watch it. And to tell you the truth, after listening to some of the singers, I must agree that it did find talent that would otherwise have gone to the wastebasket of anonymity and oblivion.

It did of course take the publishing industry a long time to catch on to another money making possibility. It always takes it a long time. When email is the preferred method of communication the publishing industry still insists on snail-mail query letters and book proposals. Of course they will tell you, "they" meaning agents and publishers, that if they opened their email address to query and proposal email, it would be flooded in a week. I believe them. I also know that there is an invention called Gmail, Hotmail, and Yahoo Mail, so I just don't fall for the excuse. And no one in his right mind is going to convince me that it is more preferable to have 6000 envelopes piled high in the corner of their office than 6000 emails waiting in virtual space.

Oh did I digress? Sorry about that. Anyways, the publishing industry did finally begin to catch up to the "American Idol" format. Contests began, many of them scams and you can find them littered over the Internet and exposed for what they were, over at the fine blog, of Writer Beware. But then, some of them had to be legitimate. Right? And sooner or later the contests began to hook up with publishers - or publishers with contests, depends on how you look at it.

Prizes, contracts with Literary Agents, contracts with publishers, all were the carrots dangled before the wide-eyed hopeful author. Some took a few bucks to submit others were for free. But the path was slowly being cleared. Resistance lessened. What was once a novelty (not a novel yet but just a novelty) slowly became something writers were getting used to.

Gather had a First Chapters Competition for mainstream fiction, and a second contest for Romance Novels and now for Mystery/Crime Novels. Amazon announced its Amazon Breakthrough Novel Award. There are a few others who got together with publishers, panels of judges, and created legitimate contests with clear rules. Nothing fishy, nothing untoward, nothing which had a hint of "scam". To mark the change in our attitude towards these contests, just take a look at these two posts over at Writer Beware. In a post entitled, "The New Fad in Publishing", followed a few days later "More on the Amazon Breakthroug...", even Victoria Strauss's normal nose for smelling a scam, didn't find a foul oder here. (Indeed she was even approached to be one of the judges and considered it.)

Well, it turns out that was is good for America is great for the rest of the world. It was inevitable this fad would sooner or later cross the oceans to the tiny country of Israel. But of course like everything else, in Israel there is a new better twist to this fad. And it may make sense for us to follow what happens with it, because though it has been almost tried in the US - ("almost" does not mean much though), I have no doubt this little twist will make its way back to the publishing empire of the world.

So let us start explaining shall we? Last Friday, in the weekend paper (the weekend Paper in Israel is published on Friday) my eyes hit a small little item about a short story contest. The original piece was published in Yediot Achronot here. That link leads to a Hebrew article which I will translate for you. But a couple of points are necessary here. First Steimatzky Books, is a well known (almost monopolistic name and company here in Israel). They have book stores in every mall, every city you can name in Israel and then some. They are also book publishers of late. They do not scam, and as far as I can tell this contest is completely legitimate.

It seems Steimatzky began a short story contest (in Hebrew). They had 3000 entries which were submitted to them. They had a panel of judges, which was announced. These judges are fairly popular and well known authors in Israel. In other words reputable, well-known authors lent their name and prestige to to the contest to find the best short story. That is a plus, by the way. It lends a big chunk of legitimacy to the contest.

Out of the 3000 entries the judges picked 30 semi-finalists. These were promptly put up on a special site for the short stories which you can access here. And here is how it works. The public gets to read the stories and vote on them. The votes by the public will make up 60% of the final vote and the votes by the 5 judges will have a 40% weight. The 10 stories having the most "votes" (in the percentage above) will rise to the next round.

Now here is the kicker. American Idol in the flesh or should I say on the TV in print! Steimatzky Publishers and Channel 2 here in Israel, (popular channel but too many damn commercials!) got together for the final stage. They will produce a show (series of shows?) on the 10 best stories which will be voted upon (though am not sure exactly how that will work - I could not find the details on it.) The winner will obviously get fame and television, and a contract for their first book.

So, though this is a very new arena, it seems that it is the wave of the future, fad or no fad. Honestly, I have no idea if any real talent will be found. I don't know if that next great Hebrew novel will be written by one of these finalists. I do know this is an arena that obviously the two mediums of publishing and television have joined together to see if they can make money from it. How one presents a short story on television without a screen play is beyond me, but then again I am not a television producer. (Maybe they will sing it?)

So is it a fad? Is it silly? Can you really find talent this way? American Idol did from what my kids tell me. The next Da-Vinci code? The next O'Henry? Poe? Tolstoy? Hell, let us just settle for the next Hemingway.

Shrugs. Can't answer those questions. It is not a scam. It is legitimate. It is also great publicity and Israelis, if they love one thing, they love to read. So, it does bear watching. It does bear scrutiny. We may find this method goes the way of E-books for the next few years (which are still a monumental failure). Or we may find it becomes a hot "thing" (there is a great word "thing"!) producing the next "Idol Author".

I do know this. I still cannot write a query letter to save my life...so for me it is back to pencil and paper and waiting till the television contest begins so I can have fun watching these poor authors sing their stories.

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

Writers, Authors, Squiggilers And Vonnegut

Those who know me, and some of the long-time readers here at Cobwebs Of The Mind, know that since I read "Slaughterhouse Five", oh so many years ago, I was a fan of the now deceased Kurt Vonnegut. A big fan. Over the years, though some of his statements did border on the outrageous (we are all allowed a flap now and then) reading Vonnegut became something akin to an addiction. So I am going to sprinkle this post with just a bit of Vonnegut - simply because I can. Statements like this from his work "The Sirens Of Titan":

"A purpose of human life, no matter who is controlling it, is to love whoever is around to be loved."

As writers or authors or squiggilers (I made up the word so sue me!) we become obsessed at times from going to blog to forum to blog to web site trying to gleam that one piece of information that will help us get our message through in that horrendous, stupefying devil's creation known as the query letter. Or once we are free of the devil's backside in the query, and then we made our proposal or sent in those first few chapters or pages, and then we are asked for a "partial", and then we are asked for a "full"... Goodness gracious, you guys know the routine. Often we are ready to swear the system was created by a bunch of business people who got high and drunk all at once - and figured out a way to destroy any writer's dreams.

But of course, it is not the case. We all know that it is true that 90% or should I say even 99% of the stuff written out there (cause that is the sad truth), is just not worth killing those poor trees for. So we have our sifters and our witches; our demons and our torture chamber. We submit those queries, we spend hours on the Internet and with our head buried in the plethora of books - telling us how to write, when to write, where to write and the worst sin of all - what to write about.

I have noticed an explosion in such books written by people whose names, which my lack of culture, erudition, knowledge and finesse, I am totally unfamiliar with. There are so many people telling us how to write and what to write - and making big bucks off of our desire to just plain write. We are most assuredly one of the biggest, most sucker-oriented "self-help" market that exists. And I'll be damned - but 99% of those books telling me how to write are written by people who have the "How To Write Book" as their first publication credit in the world of writing.

So why do we write? The odds are against us - hell we may as play the slot machines in Vegas with better hope of at least winning something! Of course the Vonnegut-ian answer to this is as follows (from an Interview with Robert Scholes, October 1966):

"Well, I've worried some about, you know, why write books...why are we teaching people to write books when presidents and senators do not read them, and generals do not read them. And it's been the university experience that taught me that there is a very good reason, that you catch people before they become generals and presidents and so forth and you poison their minds with...humanity, and however you want to poison their minds, it's presumably to encourage them to make a better world."

Here is a famous seven point writing plan from Vonnegut (quoted in Science Fictionisms (1995), compiled by William Rotsler):

1. Find a subject you care about.
2. Do not ramble, though.
3. Keep it simple.
4. Have the guts to cut.
5. Sound like yourself.
6. Say what you mean to say.
7. Pity the readers.

Yes pity the readers and don't take pity on yourself. Write but understand that not every word is gold (only mine are!) And understand that if you have this addiction and are stupid enough to want to deluge the world with your writing - it is going to usually be a long, hard and very lonely road out there. You know you are not alone, and you should never think you have been abandoned. Perhaps you will never become an author, but never believe you are alone.

"Still and all, why bother? Here's my answer. Many people need desperately to receive this message: I feel and think much as you do, care about many of the things you care about, although most people do not care about them. You are not alone."

See why I love Vonnegut?

What we do often forget, is that our own knowledge and perhaps skill is actually enriched when we read. What a thought! Reading! No, I did not say writing, and I don't mean any "self-help turn yourself into a writer in 30 days or your money back" mumbo-jumbo. I mean READING. (Argh! Did I scream that word?)

True there are so many books out there how do we decide to spend our $20 or so a month on books. Or maybe it is $100. Or maybe even $1000. Even $1000 a month will not keep you up to date or allow you to find the books you would want to read!

The Internet is a gem at times. At other times it sucks, totally completely sucks. But I discovered - yes, I am Columbus and of course no one knows a thing about this - I discovered a very engaging set of web pages, hidden mind you, and only I have the key, at the New York Times. There, if you manage to wade through the New York Times Book Review (don't deny it - you read it and fantasize about the day when you will see your book reviewed there!), there is a section called "First Chapters". Guess what that is? Well, I will keep the surprise to myself, and you can click over to it and enjoy.

In the end though, most will continue to plug away - writing and editing, cutting and changing, query lettering and partial submitting and praying.

Here are two Vonnegut quotes for you:

"I think it can be tremendously refreshing if a creator of literature has something on his mind other than the history of literature so far. Literature should not disappear up its own asshole, so to speak."

"Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you've been to college."

And no, you cannot get away with calling a semicolon a transvestite hermaphrodite. Only Vonnegut can make that sound totally right!

So you squiggle away. You write. You think of yourself as an author. You fantasize when you go on-line to Amazon seeing your book on that best-seller list. You work hard at it. You sweat. You seek encouragement but you will exist on tea, coffee and cigarettes without human contact if you have to. You say to yourself these are the dues one must pay. And you may be right.

You even become your characters. You laugh and cry with them. They say things that make you ROFL - ("roll on the floor in laughter", for you non Internet junkies. Sheesh where have you been living?) You become those squiggled characters. Pretend somehow crosses the line between what is on your computer screen or in your notebook and what your reality is. Maybe you LOL ("laugh out loud") or LMAO ("laugh my ass off") suddenly without any reason at the dinner table and your spouse and kids or parents are seriously beginning to think you need therapy. Beware! As Vonnegut put it so well:

"We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be."

So take this advice. Take it seriously. Stop. Go read something. Walk outside and breathe the air. Get off the computer! Yep that is right. YOU - OFF THE COMPUTER NOW! Go to your book store and browse. And if someone starts up a conversation and asks you what you do for a living or for a hobby - make up something - anything - just don't say "I am a writer". Forget that is what you do for a few minutes or hours. Buy a book. Curl up on the couch and read. Or better yet - get the biggest damn ice-cream cone you can put down in one sitting, and lick away.

In an interview by David Brancaccio, NOW (PBS) (7 October 2005) Vonnegut had this to say:

[Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope]

Oh, she says well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope. I meet a lot of people. And, see some great looking babes. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And, and ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is, is we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And, what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And, we're not supposed to dance at all anymore.

And while you are eating that ice cream or reading your new book, or just enjoying the feeling of the air on your face and knowing how wonderful it is to be alive, and you assured that you are about to spread your wings - always remember:

Oh! I almost forgot - here is a great Vonnegut quote for you!

"Humor is a way of holding off how awful life can be."

(Thanks go to WikiQuotes for the Vonnegut quotes.)

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

Tentatively Sticking My Foot In The Water... Yet Again

I needed a hiatus from the trials, tribulations and sometime headache of dealing with blogging, especially at Cobwebs Of The Mind. For a few months I put is aside, letting it gather dust, as other responsibilities had to be attended to. Unlike my other forays into the world of blogging, posts at Cobwebs Of The Mind have to be thought out and actually say something, (or not as the case of your sensitivities and judgment may be.)

It never ceases to surprise me how we tend to accept stability in the world around us and then perspective granted by the passing of time somehow allows us to view some real serious changes. In the blogging world of literature, writing, agents and publishing - change over a period of time seems to be the norm.

In the past six months since my last post here, when the day came when and I realized enough was enough and let us take a time-out to go play in the sandbox, many changes seem to have taken place within our little blogging world.

Miss Snark upped and left. This was not unexpected, by the way, however in reviewing my bookmarks and links (half of which over the past six months simply stopped working and the owners dissipated into the mists hovering over our virtual world), I find that no one has taken up the vacuum. Perhaps it is because Miss Snark, indeed, was a one time phenomena, and no one has the time to put into a blog that she did. Truth be told, many of us were addicted to her cynical wit and often straight no BS advice. Sometimes such an approach is just what the doctor ordered.

The Rejecter is still at work, though seems to be on a cut back schedule. She has tried to adopt some of the "snarkiness" from Miss. Snark, but by her own admission, this is a query letter reader, so in the ultimate importance of things, her advice though often great, seems to be taken by most of us with a few grains of the proverbial salt.

The denizen scam-busters are still at it, and Writer Beware is one blog I sneaked a peek often during my self-imposed exile. Sometimes I do find it difficult to follow the stories about messes and scams that writers seem to gravitate to at times, but I put that down to my senility. Of all the blogs out there for writers, Writer Beware is truly a public service.

Then, of course, there are the literary agents who blog. Most, not all, seem to have kept up on a fairly steady stream of blogging and advice. Much of the advice is usually to the point and excellent, but then again, much of it also presents a personal view of the agent involved. My favorite among them, though, Lit Agent X, has certainly cut back on her blog and her informative posts. It seems her move Folio Literary Management has taken up a great deal of time. Her posts were usually full of information and written in a straight way with a kind attitude for the writers who are trying to break in to the industry. Of course, BookEnds, LLC — A Literary Agency, is still a wonderful blog to peruse, as is, Pub Rants of the Nelson Literary Agency.

The Deepening too, went to the great virtual cemetery of the virtual world. Personally, and for obvious reasons, I believe it is a loss and perhaps it is a lesson for all of us in expectations and perseverance. The Internet is a harsh battleground and takes no prisoners. Though I think this one on-line magazine, did have a great future ahead of it. But alas, it too, is no more, and I wish the editors and owners luck in all their coming endeavors.

In short, the blogs may change, the web-sites come and go, but the rules of the game, and to no great surprise all remain the same. (All right, maybe more agents are entering into the world of "modern technology" and are no longer demanding the snail-mail letter and are willing to except email queries - which is a plus.)

Over time, I have made friends with quite a few published authors, others who are on their way to be published, and yet others who are still upon the query letter route. It has been an enlightening and interesting experience. I have heard stories of writers, agents and publishers which we would never read on the Internet - good, bad, pretty and some damn right ugly.

Many of the authors, hopeful and established, I have had the pleasure of sharing emails with, all go from the ecstasy of hope to the despair of fear of failing. I have learned even those who have 5 or more books to their name, and have even been on the Best-Seller lists, suffer with each work the same self-doubt which plagued them from the beginning. I have also learned certain rules were made to be broken in the quest for a good agent and entrée into the world of publishing.

And there are too many, who still feel that their ability to make a one-line quip or witty remark turns them into bona-fide writers. They hang on the forums and writing circles, which are good for information from time to time, but sooner or later, one should realize that writing is just that -writing. Either you do it or you don't. That too is a lesson to be learned. Writing forums and blogs as well, (like this blog), can become a massive waste of time and energy. In the end result, the normative route to publishing is the old writing-agent-publisher route. Of course you can go POD or self-pub, and of course you can create a pdf with an E-book in mind, but the facts are simple. In order to have your book published via a normative route the path is laid out and the stones are slippery from all the wear they have upon them.

The contests as well come and go, with new trends being experimented with even by traditional publishers. Many of the web-sites who have decent names, such as Gather, have coupled with traditional publishers. And @ Writer Beware they keep us totally up-to-date on what is legit and what is not, if you are so inclined to enter the contests.

One rule which to be honest I always knew, but never accepted is that you just never know what will work and will not work. Instincts are great, and work for us most of the time, but sometimes one has to take a deep breath, and just go for it. When I had started my other blog, Help! I Have A Fire In My Kitchen, I thought it would honestly end up as curiosity for maybe twenty people. Little did I realize that it would garner the interest and following it has in one short year. It was a round-about lesson me in the world of writing as well.

So, everything changes and nothing changes. You first write, then you have to find an agent, then the agent has to sell your ms. to a publishing house, then you have to sign a contract, then you have to wait for pre-publication and publication, then you have to work hard to market your book and put in the public relations, and during all that besides your daily activities, you must write your next book and your next and your next.

The one thing that didn't change is what I consider to be the utter genius of the folks over at Despair.com. Sometimes when they release a new "Demotivator" I am willing to swear that the one who wrote them was or is an author. So in the spirit of some true Despair (which as you know deep in your heart is something we all partake in) I have included two new ones from the folks at Despair (one above and one below). Don't let them blow the wind out of your sails though. Just remember them from time to time to put a more realistic edge on your goals and dreams. And if you have written, gotten an agent or published in the time I have been musing in other things, drop a line or comment about the book or agent or story you have. If it is of interest to the public I will be glad to post it here at Cobwebs Of The Mind.

Now Go Write!

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

The Day Hitler Became A "Funky Dude"

I want to thank those who sent in either comments or email in regard to this really serious breach of moral ethics that took place on Absolute Write. I have received to date over 93 emails from over 60 individuals, some members of Absolute Write, others simply casual or first time readers of Cobwebs Of The Mind. All have expressed anywhere from shock to moral repugnance at what has been excused on a recognized "writer's" forum as something not to be embarrassed about (to say the least).

The following post has honestly been a few days in preparation. It is not only to show, as they say, "black on white" just what has been posted, but it is to show the utter hypocrisy and degradation of the very same people, owners, administrators, moderators and members who have been so vociferous in their defense of the swastika. They use words to try and intimidate as made crystal clear in foul-mouth land and in Absolute Write.

But first why? Why continue? The reason is simple. If this was just a show of idiotic moral depravity than we have made our point. But it is more than that. This has become a circus of hypocrisy and arrogance. It is not that the swastika and other symbols of hate are approved of - it is not the lines about Hitler that are approved of and other sick lines and cute posts - it is ONLY the lines about Hitler that are left. It is only those who post about such things who are defended.

This points to something more than stupidity. It shows insidious hate. It shows moral and ethical bankruptcy. It is sick, cursed and disgusting - and it damn well needs to be pointed out and everything must be done to stop it. This is not something to let lie and hope it goes away. Lots and lots and lots of people did that with the Nazis and I do not think we have to reiterate where that philosophy took them.

If you have not yet read the other posts describing in detail just what this is all about may I suggest you read in order as follows:

1. Depravity, Disgust and Stupidity - Passing Ignorance Around Like A Venereal Disease.
2. Never Again
3. Doctrine Of The Lie
4. The Banality Of Evil
5. On The Bastardization Of Language
6. Who Let The Dogs Out?
   

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There are some things that amaze; there are others that shock; there are even others that horrify. Then there is just plain down and stupid. Ordinarily "stupid" should be passed over. Stupid, crass, foolish, hate-riddled people should either be ignored or locked up or just plain tossed on their ear and rear.

That is when hate is not "house-policy". But when it becomes "house-policy" then the only thing left to do is either move away and let the neighborhood go to the dogs and let all that dog-poo pile up - or take back the neighborhood.

Some of us prefer to walk away. Why deal with it? Who needs it? Sick is sick is sick. After all we have seen and heard, from bladder-weak megalomaniacs, to self-proclaimed language lovers who spew forth foul, vindictive idiocies, to sycophants who produce brothers, sisters and cats all who seem to either "embrace" becoming Jewish or becoming "gophers" - take your pick - it is a circus of hate.

So today we are going to make a slide show for all those wonderful hate-riddled hypocrites over at Absolute Write of their words and a few pictures.

The amazing thing about people who call others names while proclaiming their own self-worth is that they manage to point the finger at their own ignorance. Let us for a moment take a look at this cast of misfits that runs, administrates and moderates Absolute Write along with their very own fan club. Let us look at this cast and then look at their very own words for a few minutes. Let us take the time to read, think, judge and then either laugh or cry at just how ludicrous they sound while wearing the "King's Clothes".

You guys know the old saying - "Out of the mouths of Babes..."

We have a linguist who seems to seriously get off in some odd fetish-laden way by cursing and displays orgiastic anger when she is challenged; a woman who calling those who find her desire to purify the swastika a fairly disgusting and idiotic goal labeling all those who disagree with her - "uneducated"; a self-proclaimed writer, buying legitimacy by becoming an owner of a writer's forum board where hypocrisy and double-standards are the game of the day and she is the worst of the offenders; and a whole bunch of well - frothing dogs - who live for the attention; a child who is not really a child - suddenly become a Buddhist while writing pornography and linking to pages with the word "Swastika" emblazoned throughout. He brings with him yet another child who lives on Internet chat rooms, and seems to be completely bereft of friends her own age except for virtual people and a totally witless mentality where without even beginning to understand that nature of stupid deed, calls for the "taking back and purification of the swastika". (Bet you she has a pet dog and half a cat that sooner or later we will hear embraced Judaism somewhere along the line.)

This is some of our cast of people. Of course we could go on and on - the actors are all second and third rate. The only one of merit, if you call what he writes with merit, seems to think that hiding from swastikas will just make the problem go away. Kind of an "Ostrich mentality". He is a conundrum of sorts, I admit it. The only excuse is that if you take away his "professor chair" at Absolute Write, well no one else is going to offer him one or pay attention to him. So one might say he needs to protect his turf. While this is legitimate for him, it becomes loathsome when we are told that by "putting an offensive signature on ignore" and allowing it to stay so that others can see it - solves the problem. Indeed this is ignorance at its best or worst. Here is what this great author had to say: (As usual picture of post included then the quote in case you cannot read it.)

If someone's sig really offends you, the Ignore button is at your command.

Here's how to use it:

Click on the person's name (on the left of the post). The first choice on the drop-down menu will be "View Public Profile." Select that.

You'll see a dark-blue line with the words "Add Name To Your Buddy List" and "Add Name To Your Ignore List." Click on "Add Name To Your Ignore List."

You will never be troubled by that offensive sig again.

No, you won't be troubled by that offensive signature. But, scratching my head in a bit of disbelief here... Why don't the moderators do that when they find something not to their liking as well? I mean it is easy to make hate go away. Just put it on ignore! Hey, why didn't we think of this 5000 years ago. Ignore the problem and it will go away! By golly wiz! Woohoo! Now I know why so many people in Absolute Write gravitate to asking questions of this genius. With such clarity of thought, such incredible erudition and intelligence - we have solved the problem. Ignore the hate mongers. They will disappear. Magic!

I mean just a couple of days ago, didn't the Forum Board owner get so mad in a discussion that this is what she said: (I am only quoting the end here, because she said some fairly personal things which have nothing to do with our discussion. And btw.. Bird is a piece of human garbage which we discussed in a previous thread, known as BOP. And he should have gotten banned for what he said. But then again he should have been banned for the lies he told about Jews before as well. Ah well...) First of course the actual picture of the post lest you think I am kidding. Click to see it really well with all the wonderful words and such.

Quoted below is the last paragraph of this post:

I'm closing this thread. I don't want to see one more goddamned word about this from anyone. You want censorship, Bird? THIS is how censorship works

Why didn't Mac just put Bird on ignore? Problem solved! No need to get upset! All done!

And so we shall deal with this cast today, in the only way the can be dealt with. They want a grade B soap opera - then by golly gee - we are going to give them a grade B soap opera. You have to appreciate true ignorant people when you meet them - you really have to appreciate them.

Here is what happens when you ignore people. They put comments up - then are forced to retract blaming it on their great sarcastic funny bone. You guys remember this one from our previous posts, don't you?

And those nasty comments about Hitler should stop too. He's a fellow writer, and yet people keep making personal attacks against him.

And of course how could you not remember our intelligent, witty, sarcastic laden friend Louqax don't you? We discussed him a couple of posts ago in "Who Let The Dogs Out?"He was the one who said the following:

You can click on that picture to get true real up front and close view of his great statement which is:

"Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever."

Well then you thought - you had seen it all didn't you? I mean it was written, posted and left there. So you really thought - hell now I have seen it all. Well, think again.

Out of the Internet World comes another genius - member of the "I want to be recognized for the great, intelligent writer that I am" crowd. All of 25 years old, and already making a name for herself. I just cannot wait to meet the agent that signs this "writer" up.

Just in case you cannot read this message of intelligence and wit, let us lay it out for you. (You can also click on the picture of the post to get it up front and close!)

"I respect Hitler too. He's a funky dude"

Now in the best case scenario the poster of this piece of Einsteinian wit will come back and say since there is a smiley next to that line - that shows it was meant in humor and sarcasm. So before this idiotic statement is made - let us see who she is calling a "funky" dude. Someone who was responsible for the world being enveloped in war and the mass murder of millions. Hmm... This is someone you call a "funky" dude in joking? This is something you joke about?

This is coming on a board where people are supposed to show a modicum of intelligence?

Let us assume for the moment that we are dealing with a below average intellect here (fair assumption I would think). Then why the hell is this post left up? Why was it not immediately deleted? Oh that's right! Respect for the fellow writer. I forgot that rule. How dumb of me!

So first we have one named Mac, who comments:

And those nasty comments about Hitler should stop too. He's a fellow writer, and yet people keep making personal attacks against him

Then we have Loquax who puts in his smart comment about Hitler being an underachiever, then we have TrulyAnna, another great genius calling Hitler a "funky dude".

Does anyone see a pattern here? Does anyone see the picture these great writers are painting for us? Are those who travel the Internet Byways into Absolute Write, so morally deficient, corrupt and weak that they do not see the problem here?

Oh but we are still not done, and I do admit I almost skipped over this following comment made by this piece of human garbage. Until .. well until... you will see. First the picture (so you can click on it to get real close and personal and sick) then the quote spelled out all pretty for all of us to see.

Just to print this out for those with bad eyes.

"Nazi Germany had some benefits also. just like under any dictatorship, there was a rule of law and trains ran on time. not to mention many folks believe its grievances were legitimate and right.

But when someone flies a Nazi flag, other people can only think about the concentration camps."

Now to be honest, this anonymous twit is full of comments which are about as intelligent as the one above. Long ago I realized this is just a piece of human garbage. When I was emailed this comment by no less than 4 people in 4 different emails, I was tempted to let it go. Yes he writes in present tense. And yes the comment about "only think about the concentration camps" is very unnerving when thought about in a cold logical manner.

And I got to thinking. Out of all the statements to make - out of all the things to say nice about a dictatorship, (huh? that is such a stupid statement isn't it?) - out of all the analogies to make - you make one about the Nazis and Trains????

Forget the rest of this comment for a moment. Forget the fact that someone saying this should be ostracized so fast he would not know which way was up. Forget the fact that the rest of the comment is horrendous and hate-filled and sick. Forget it all.

Trains?????? Nazis?????????? Any child knows that the trains which this idiot praises - were the way the Jews were transported to the death camps. Any child knows that when you equate Nazis with trains you are doing so for ONLY ONE PURPOSE. This is what is good about the Nazis? The trains ran on time? More Jews to kill? Easier to clean the Jewish vermin from the streets? Faster way to make soap?

THIS IS HOW ONE MAKES A POINT. TRAINS AND NAZI GERMANY???????

And so it goes on and on. But wait! Could there be more? You better believe it!

You do remember our favorite Linguist, don't you? The one who input her great intelligence into her post over at foul-mouth land? Her great words and all. The one who wrote a beautifully worded answer in her blog as follows:

Subject: Fuck off
You self-righteous piece of shit.

I know plenty of Jews who KNOW what the Buddhist symbol means and appreciate it. To pull this holocaust crap is scummy, in my opinion.

Yep this is what a linguist does. Don't that just blow the wind out of your sails?

BUT..wait! There is so much more. You remember the whole wonderful statement made by all these people that it is time to reclaim the Swastika. Time to forget its evil. Time to forgive and forget, and return its symbolization to something warm and sunny and so full of love.

Try this one on for size written by our very same Linguist AFTER she thought she was finished with the "scummy holocaust crap".

Now the discussion here was about gay lifestyle and all that. But let us see what Lisa the Linguist (LL) has to say about the use of words. Here is a picture of the post (just in case you do not believe me. You can click on it to see the original much clearer.)

Let me quote this incredible piece of hypocrisy in full - just to make sure you get the idea and understand how truly hate-riddled this woman and her friends are.

There's a thing people of various groups, subcultures, religions, ethnic and racial groups do, of trying to "reclaim" words, or taking a word with negative hurtful power and removing the power of the word to hurt by using it voluntarily themselves. "A reclaimed word is a word that was formerly used solely as a slur but that has been semantically overturned by members of the maligned group, who use it as a term of defiant pride" (American Heritage Dictionary; see queer).

I understand this practice intellectually, but . . . I still flinch when I hear a someone I love use the word kike or fag or dyke to refer to themselves. I can't help it. It isn't conscious; it's a gut reaction, and emotional.

There's also a similar but very very tricky linguistic phenomenon where a non-member of the group or subculture can use the terms in some circumstances with specific members of the subculture and it isn't a problem.

That's high risk behavior. You'd best be very very sure of the person you use the loaded terms with. In many cases non-members are absolutely not sanctioned to use the loaded terms.

Part of my personal problem with "reclaimed" words -- and this is very very much a personal issue and about me -- is that I can't actually find any instance where such a word, a hurtful word, has been successfully reclaimed and has no power to hurt.

At the same time, I very much don't believe in not using words, in saying "the f-bomb" for fag. I'd rather say: This is a word with a troubled past and which has a wide range of loaded and potentially hurtful and inflammatory meanings" than by coy about it.

I've had two gay male friends tell me they specifically prefer to be called fag. can't, really, do it without flinching. I just can't. It's what they want, so I try, but I flinch. I can't disassociate the word from the pain that I know it's caused in the past.

I also struggle with the now pretty much standard word queer; queer has been mostly reclaimed in academic studies; you will find people working in Queer Studies and who in terms of literature specialize in Queer Theory, for instance.

Etymologically, to me, queer still means twisted, awry, bent.

I hate to think of people applying that meaning to themselves. I also hate the term straight for a heterosexual, since it implies things that are equally potentially damaging and hurtful.

I suspect that my emotional reactions are because, well, I'm a text geek, but they're still there. I still flinch.

Does this need any deep analogy or explaining? I would hope not. This woman states unequivocally that she knows that terms cannot be "reclaimed" because they still have hurtful meanings. They cannot be purified. She flinches at the term "queer". But she is willing to reclaim the SWASTIKA! She thinks this does NOT give pain?

Are you readers getting the picture? Do you need a map? Do you see the hate oozing through?

Oh but there is more!

You remember the commentor here, Jean Marie, who called us all uneducated for not realizing that the Swastika was originally a symbol of beauty? Remember her? We are uneducated. Well here is what she has to say AFTER calling us uneducated for not reclaiming the Swastika. Medievalist is LL - Lisa The Linguist!

Medievalist, I have to agree w/ you on the usage of the word "queer." I flinch, too. And it's because of the history of the word. I remember years ago, when it was derogatory;now it isn't.

I see Mac use it, and still flinch. I'm trying to wrap my mind around the reclamation thing. Maybe, I'll be able to...eventually.

Oh it is all right to reclaim a swastika but hard to use the word "queer"?

Tell me folks what am I missing here?

We must add the following. Simply because it kind of is one of those proverbial nails in the coffin. It is amazing.

Remember above that I quoted from a discussion that was then closed by the board owner because she did not like what was said (and she shouldn't have put it up with it either actually.) Remember she told "Bird" aka "Bird of Prey" aka "BOP" as follows:

I'm closing this thread. I don't want to see one more goddamned word about this from anyone. You want censorship, Bird? THIS is how censorship works.

Well here is what happened to Bird of Prey afterwards. Posted by LL, our cunning linguist, who is a super administrator on the Absolute Write Forum board.

I've given Bird of Prey a three day ban. I wanted to make it permanent, but MacAllister didn't. Bird of Prey has been given a fair amount of leeway, but has indulged in personal attacks to an extent that really can't be excused. Bird of Prey is right to be upset, and seriously concerned about violence against women, but needs to realize that insulting and attacking members, targeting female members, isn't going to solve a problem that women everywhere deal with on a daily basis, and have done for thousands of years. We do need to change behavior; but that includes the way we treat other people all the time everywhere. Including here.

Now don't that just blow you away? Bird of Prey is banned for three days and almost forever for making derogatory comments about women and violence. Well, this set them off. And as it should be - this anonymous piece of human garbage should have been banned from even using a computer the day after he made his appearance.

But folks. WAIT! Do not think for a moment that Loquax, Bravo, Mac #2, or TrulyAnna, let alone our Buddhist who links to Swastika emblazoned pages, got banned even for a second for their Hitler comments. OH NO! God Forbid. That people is freedom of speech!

You just got to love hypocrisy. You really got to love it! Someone should be taking their own advice.

I could go on and on. But for now we will let the above sink in. Since Absolute Write does ask for money from members, does run auctions for its coffers and does accept donations it is somewhat of a commercial enterprise. Customers, which in this case are members are kind of important. So this is my parting comment to those who partake in the running of this hate filled, morally decrepit universe.

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Posts In This Series:

1. Depravity, Disgust and Stupidity - Passing Ignorance Around Like A Venereal Disease.
2. Never Again
3. Doctrine Of The Lie
4. The Banality Of Evil
5. On The Bastardization Of Language
6. Who Let The Dogs Out?
7. The Day Hitler Became A "Funky Dude"
   

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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Tags: books, novels, poetry, literary, agents, short stories, memoirs, fantasy literature, legends, tales, erotica, short story, romantica, publishing, writers, fantasy, literary agents, blogs, blogging, writing blogs, writing, freelancing, non-fiction, fiction

Who Let The Dogs Out?

When I first posted the original article on the depravity of someone putting a swastika on their symbol in, Depravity, Disgust and Stupidity - Passing Ignorance Around Like A Venereal Disease, we were met with the argument that this is a symbol of love and peace. The curses and lies started flying over in foul-mouth land and so in order to make it clear that this was not something that would intimidate and to make the point clear Never Again followed.

By that time more and more people were showing disgust and shock at exactly what was being written and printed in Absolute Write under the guise of "free speech" and "religious tolerance". By that time the point was made as clear as most thought it could be made. Except for those of us who knew that the appearance of a swastika, no matter in what form, no matter under what guise or excuse, was symptom of a deep rot.

Patience was called for. Not a great deal mind you, but patience. Hate never fails to rear its ugly face.

Indeed, knowing that the current owner of Absolute Write and her jolly stooges hid constantly behind a veneer of "open-mindedness" made waiting in patience that much easier. The surface was scratched and all that was needed was to wait just a bit longer for the ugly rot to come out.

The dogs had awoken. They were starving for flesh. And once awakened their baying in the moonlight became a clarion call.

And so the next post - Doctrine Of The Lie - to just set the record straight as it were. And the stage was being set.

We were dealing with a "teen" who is not a teen, who is a Buddhist Pornographic Author (anyone find something funny with being a Buddhist and writing Erotica or Pornography?) who felt the inner compulsion to place a swastika with a link to a page whose heading is emblazoned with the word "Swastika". Then we deal with a woman who is a linguist who seems to know more curse words than a NY City taxi driver and cannot handle those who are in conflict with her world view. Along those lines we find a few really interesting and intelligent quotations from those who want to make a point. All this in the name of a symbol of peace and love.

Patience was called for. Not a great deal mind you, but patience, nonetheless. Hate never fails to rear its ugly face.

As if the appearance of a swastika on this board of Absolute Write were not enough, as if the pathetic attempt to hide it behind some other symbol was not so transparent - we were then met with another yet compelling argument. We were told that the time has come to purify the Swastika. That was enough to scare the living shit out of any normal human being. And thus many people wrote me telling me to just forget the ignorants. Ahh, but the lessons of life I have learned well. It was clear that sooner or later we would get to the crux of this matter. To the utter depravity that was clear from the beginning.

Patience was called for. Not a great deal mind you, but patience, nonetheless. Hate never fails to rear its ugly face.

The dogs were frothing at the mouth. "Soon", I told myself, "real soon they will not be able to hide their intentions much longer".

Then came the post, The Banality Of Evil. And out of the mouth of babes (or frothing dogs) came the defender. She posted comments. Telling us how uneducated we were, and how since she is mixture of every race, religion and creed under the sun, she knows it all. It effects her, because, we had the audacity to say something not nice about her friend. Oh my! Such audacity. And what a shame that the Swastika was adopted by Nazi Germany because it simply is a wonderful symbol and really should mean love, peace and goodwill to all men. Well not much of a surprise there. Except for the "uneducated" part. I mean hell, if you want to call Jews and those who are not Jews but who understand the depravity of such things bad names - the just say it. Say it with gusto.

"Those damn Jews and those screwed up Jew Lovers. May they all rot in hell".

And yet enough was enough. Why continue? Why drive home a point that was made again and again? Why point out, step by step, what the real nature of this whole incident was?

Patience was called for. Not a great deal mind you, but patience, nonetheless. Hate never fails to rear its ugly face.

And so the last post. On The Bastardization Of Language. Making it clear for all those who can read and from the uneducated, just how much rot existed in Absolute Write. Just how far a few people had gone in their own sick, darkened minds. Making it clear, that games of words do not intimidate and they are simply smoke screens for the real thing.

Actually it took less time than expected. It had begun a couple of days ago, and I was made aware of it. But I knew it would just take a few more moments in time for the dogs to be freed. I knew it was just simply put - a matter of time. The only question was, is and will be, is Who Let The Dogs Out?

And to that question we will now try and discover the answer.

Let us begin with this wondrous comment posted in order to make fun of a woman, who stated clearly in Absolute Write as follows: (all taken from a thread which you are welcome to go look at - http://absolutewrite.com/forums/showthread.php?t=56692. Unfortunately you must sign up to do so.)

Forum Rule: Respect Your Fellow Writer
Correct?

An action taken without bad intentions can be viewed as a mistake. Becoming aware that your action was tasteless and not taking steps to correct it ... it's a disrespectful offense.

For goodness sake, if you've been made aware that your signature is offensive to a fellow writer, please change it.

Respect ... it is a forum rule, correct?

Seems like a normal, sane request actually. But then again....
So of course this request was met with a statement on philosophy by the "board owner" one calling herself Mac. (Jean's friend if you are following the thread closely for all parts of this hate-filled depraved soap opera.)

Well, no. Respecting your fellow writer means no personal attacks. No name-calling. No intentional cruelty or baiting. Having respect doesn't mean you're at the mercy of anyone who wants to kick sand on your shoes just because they believe or think a different way than you do. What you absolutely cannot do is impose your own sensibilities on your fellow members.

I'm pretty sure that we'll all be offended at one time or another by things that are said or seen here.

But I'll guarantee you right now that I'm not going to censor someone or ask people to censor themselves for having religious, political, or moral beliefs different than mine or yours. We have a really amazingly diverse membership. That's important, valuable, and a priceless opportunity to learn about experiences outside of our own.

In other words placing a swastika on the signature is not "intentional cruelty or baiting". And by asking to remove it this is within the parameter of: "What you absolutely cannot do is impose your own sensibilities on your fellow members."

No problem. Supposedly this is a privately owned board. (Not exactly true because Absolute Write asks for "donations" towards memberships and also has some running auctions for Mac and her crew to further propagate their hate and depravity. But hell, people are taken in by much more sophisticated operations than this one. But we will get to this one as well...don't you fret your little heads!)

No Problem. Such is the view of the power that is. Depraved and Sick. Of course it is. But nevertheless - her opinion.

Oops! Oops Again! Let us back up for a second. Let us review just one line:

"No intentional cruelty or baiting."

Cool Beans, Jelly Beans. Wow - let us see how that works in reality shall we?

Now the original poster asking for respect, is a woman who runs a blog and her entire life dedicated to women in the prevention of Breast Cancer. So one would think that at least in such a case, others would at least give respect where respect is due. So let us see how much respect she got, and just what was posted. (By the way, Mac seems to be a fairly interesting name in these threads.)

Yeah - there are some people with the word B-R-E-A-S-T in their signature.

They should change it.

And those nasty comments about Hitler should stop too. He's a fellow writer, and yet people keep making personal attacks against him.

Mac

Oops! Right after the owner of the board, Mac #1 posts her statement of "No intentional cruelty or baiting" not more than 7-8 posts following the above ditty appears.

Now let us see who really let the dogs out?

So the thread was locked. Why? Well someone, namely the previous owner of Absolute Write, had the sensitivity to know that Mac #2 was insulting a woman who should not be insulted. Never mind the Hitler statement - that is water under the bridge. But the post was left in all its shining glory. For anyone to read. Left out there.

And so someone complained about locking the thread and the answer was swift. Amazing how the swift answers come when the stooges feel they are being challenged in their very "balanced" world view.

Scott, I'm sorry you've apparently interpreted having a thread locked for escalating incivility between participants as an impingement on your free speech.

In fact, this is a privately owned board, but with a very large community--and I don't think anyone ever owns a community. However, I do feel a responsibility to keep things running fairly smoothly and civilly. It's served AW pretty well so far to try and head off arguments that seem largely unnecessary, and inclined to escalate.

You got to love hypocrisy - you really got to love it!

So I must have gotten like 20 emails if not more. "Did you see this?" With print screens and copies of the thread. And questions asking, "Why don't you react to this?"

I did not react because I knew a secret.

Patience was called for. Not a great deal mind you, but patience, nonetheless. Hate never fails to rear its ugly face.

I had no doubt that this was not the end of it. I had no doubt, EVER, that this was not about a symbol of love and purity, it was not about intellectual honesty, it was not about any of those lofty statements used to hide pure, unbridled, depraved, sick hatred. It just needed an ounce more of - you got it - patience!

And so that above statement was picked up by quite a few people. People who had enough courage to finally say - this is sick. I am out of here. This place has gone to the dogs. Who let the dogs out? is no longer important. But they are out, the owner has made herself clear, she sends her stooges to curse, vilify and lie, and enough is enough.

But it was also picked up on other blogs and made public. It appeared really swiftly. I stayed silent on it because I knew the real fun would start a bit later.

So once picked up - once it became a matter of public record outside of Absolute Write, well something had to be done. And real fast. Save face. Even dogs, frothing rabid dogs full of self-loathing and hate, need to keep up appearances.

And so another thread was opened aptly called "Clarifying my views ..."

Just to clarify something.

I have an earlier post which included a line about "And those nasty comments about Hitler should stop too. He's a fellow writer, and yet people keep making personal attacks against him."

Just for the record - that post had a certain level of sarcasm.

I though it was fairly clear, but have been informed via PM that several people though that the post was utterly serious, and so that not only do people believe I'm a Hitler supporter, apparently there is also a belief I have a serious objection to people who had the word 'breast' in their signatures.

Clearly, the Hitler comment was sarcastic, and the 'breast' comment was meant as a deliberately absurd example - so it indicated that getting offended over a single word with multiple meanings is, well, absurd.

Unfortunately I can't go back and edit that post now to clarify (perhaps because the thread is locked) but I would if I could.

I'm not sure how I can make sarcasm or exaggeration in my writing clearer, without waving a flag or using a smiley. So I can be avoid offending people, I'll avoid sarcasm and exaggeration for a while until I can recalibrate for the audience.

I wish you all well,

Mac
(PS: Just to be clear - I'm not using sarcasm now)

And so the needed apology. Mac #2 got the Private Message and of course recanted. His defense. This is sarcasm. Of course it is. No problem. Because you have a computer and you know how to type and can use a spell checker - you are allowed anywhere and anytime in any place to be sarcastic. Shows education, class and wit. Actually a great sense of humor. Writing that will launch a best-seller. And these are people who actually call themselves writers! Imagine that.

But for the moment let us not be to harsh on this poor sarcasm gone all wrong. Let us not be cruel to the next comedian of the Internet circle. Let us not give him too bad a review. After all, between Gibson and the persona of Kramer - we have actually had all the sarcasm and jokes we can stomach. So why not point innocent fun at Hitler? So what if he is looked upon as the quintessence of evil - unless of course, we are trying to "purify" his reputation as well.

So let us go on in this same thread shall we. With a bit of introduction. One thing about anti-Semites and people who just hate. People who hate blacks, whites, Jews, Chinese - you name it. They love to remain anonymous. Anonymity allows them "plausible deniability".

Among the illustrious writers and authors that spend their time on Absolute Write, protecting hate filled minds and literature, are quite a few anonymous dingbat names. These intelligentsia have spread their frothing hate-filled words wherever they go. So the following comments come as no surprise to me. So let us see how far we can take the original post by the owner of this illustrious forum. For the sake of memory let us repeat her quote below:

No intentional cruelty or baiting. Having respect doesn't mean you're at the mercy of anyone who wants to kick sand on your shoes just because they believe or think a different way than you do. What you absolutely cannot do is impose your own sensibilities on your fellow members.

No problem. But I think we have a bit of an Oops!

Following this recanting by Mac #2 comes the following by Anon #1 who goes by the name of Bird Of Prey:

My sympathies. We've lost a few contributors here due to - what can I say - a complete lack of understanding with regard to their sarcasm or wit or subtext or flat out twisted humor. And I'm sorry for it. Thus, I'm glad you clarified what probably was obvious to anybody with a half a brain.

Yeah. That is really sad. Loosing contributors due to the fact that they are just not smart enough to accept wit, sarcasm and humor. Lots of people walk around with half a brain. It is sad I admit. We just were not gifted with the talents that this person was given. I mean after all, what is NOT funny about Hitler jokes? How could anyone think someone who previously on the board has defended Holocaust Denial, the Iranian Government's right to blow Israel into the sea, and no less and no more put forward a proposal that all Israeli's should move to the US, give Israel to the Arabs and he would protect us - how could we not see this is NOT funny? Shame on us. Nazis, Hitler, concentration camps, death, murder are all really funny! I wish I was born with more than half a brain so I could join this illustrious group!

Oh let us not forget one thing from this anonymous voice of hate filled depravity. Let us not forget that he asks continuously and constantly for pity because - now get this - because his house was undervalued when he wanted to sell it. Now there is tragedy for you. We are witless. He is the epitome of intelligence. Children out there. Emulate this person - for indeed he is what everyone wants to grow up to be. An empty shell, full of hate, depravity and sick worm-filled thoughts, with no life besides what what the Internet offers him and his fellow comrades. Grow up to be just like him!

And so Mac #2 pipes up. Let us read his words:

I'm not sure about that.

There are a lot of idiots saying odd things on the web ... so if I read a post on a random website and see something idiotic and odd .. it is a reasonable assumption that the person who wrote it is an idiot.

For a casual reader (who isn't going to delve into past posting history, etc) it is an understandable mistake.

I mean you truly are not an idiot? You are not a fool? You are for real? Intelligent, smart, wise and kind? Oh wow. Revelation! And I think all those "casual readers" should be tarred and feathered for being - well for being so "casual"! How could they not get your incredible wit?

Oh and remember the one who told us how much it effected her that we dare take umbrage at the presentation of a Swastika? Remember Jean? The one who called us "uneducated"? Well here is an educated quote from the master of education:

Unfortunately, poopie heads roam the 'net, Mac. Bart started the poopie thing, his fault...BART!!!

Oh Bart! How can we forget him? Want a link folks? A link for the purification of the Swastika? Well here you go - linked to the Swastika on his signature. Click here for all you wanted to know about the Swastika and then some!

But...but...but... This teen is educated. After all here is a Buddhist who believes in love, purity and all that. Pet the head. Just a puppy mind you, but soon he will become a frothing dog. Just give him time and a few more chances to be the center of attention - and voila we will have yet another rabid frothing dog.

Think we are done? Oh not by a long shot. Here is another anonymous part of the intelligentsia, calls himself Bravo, (why? who cares? honestly who really cares?) - a child in a third grade University, with nothing else on his mind but loathing, here is what he has to say as his "gifted" addition to these comments:

do not edit.

we're at a writer's site.

if aspiring writers cant see the sarcasm in your statement that's their problem.

and no, you do not need to use smilies.

Of course it is a problem. Hell, why should we not recognize the sarcastic genius of these illustrious world renowned writers? My, Oh My! How could we not recognize it? After all it is so clear. So incredibly funny and full of wit that Letterman is knocking down their door. The agents are just dying for their signatures on the contract. Woohoo! World renowned writers.

Yep one thing he got so right. This group will forever be aspiring writers. Except of course where one of them, proudly, puts a link to his self-published gobbledygook, published no less by Absolute Write's denizen of the deep - Publish America. This is his claim to fame. But like his book this person is another non-entity lost in a sea of frothing rabid dogs.

Who the hell let these dogs out?

BUT WAIT! Let us just go a bit further down in this thread. It is here where our patience pays off. It is here where the "final solution" becomes clear. It is here where we can finally say, well guess what? Oops!

One by the name of Loquax. Another anonymous name hiding behind some made up persona.

Now let us see just what he has to say:

Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever.

Now there ya go. You see I told you patience pays off. (If you want to see up big and real just click on the above picture.) It was clear from the very first. And do you think any of the above intelligentsia said anything? Did they rise up in arms? Did they find this revolting? Insulting? Mildly disturbing? Who knows? Who cares anymore?

Who Let The Dogs Out?

This from a privately owned forum, for writers, no less, which is open to anyone, which begs for donations, runs auctions to supplement the income, which is run by a nondescript person who couldn't write her way out of a parking ticket. The only claim to fame this woman seems to have is a faulty urinary tract and a weak bladder. Her favorite witty line is:

"You do not want to get into a pissing match with me."

Writers Everywhere Unite In Celebration Of These Lucid Descriptive Powers!

But remember. We are the uneducated. We are the trouble makers. We are the problem. Because - "No intentional cruelty or baiting." is allowed.

I wonder. Just how much at least 18 million people would think of that statement. Renee. Do you think Hitler was an underachiever? Do you find any humor in the statement? Wit? Sarcasm to laugh at? Is it funny?

Well let us just center, bold, italicize and make this remark large. Just to make sure your eyes are not playing tricks on you. Remember get your funny bone ready. Because this is going to be shaken off as yet another piece of wit, sarcasm and humor.

"Hitler had the right idea, he was just an underachiever."

By golly gee - You just have to wonder!

Don't worry folks. They will sooner or later send Loquax, the poster of this piece of wit, a message and say to him - please apologize. We know you are smart and wise and witty. But some people, half-wits, with no brains, may see that statement as a bit off color. So please just start another thread where you can apologize. Then we can forget this whole silly issue.

So I ask you. It started off with a swastika. It went to calling vile names by those who did not like to hear from the other side that thought this was in good taste. It then went to lies. It then went to further lies. It then went to a call to purify the swastika. And of course, we are the "uneducated". Why? Because this above group of people is so respectable that even Disney would hire them for entertainment. Then it went to something that we should have taken as the essence of all wit. But of course. Then finally to the "Hitler was an underachiever" line.

Who the hell let these dogs out? Who the hell wants them?

This dear people is the true face of Absolute Write.

And I ask you. Are these truly the kind of people you want to be associated with? Is this where your name should be up in lights? Are these honestly people you want your name associated with?

This dear people is the true face of Absolute Write. Nothing more. Nothing less.

You see I told you.

All you need is a bit of patience.

And no need to wonder anymore who let the dogs out.

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Posts In This Series:

1. Depravity, Disgust and Stupidity - Passing Ignorance Around Like A Venereal Disease.
2. Never Again
3. Doctrine Of The Lie
4. The Banality Of Evil
5. On The Bastardization Of Language
6. Who Let The Dogs Out?
7. The Day Hitler Became A "Funky Dude"
   

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Posted On: Cobwebs Of The Mind

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