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Pub Rants where Literary Agent Kristin of the Nelson Literary Agency puts down her thoughts and musings, as the blog sub-title states: "A Very Nice Literary Agent Indulges In Polite Rants About Queries, Writers, And The Publishing Industry" lives up to her promise of being "very nice". Those of us used to Miss Snark and The Evil Editor (I still don't understand his blog) are presented with a different personality and way of looking at things.A nice Midwesterner breaks free of her genteel upbringing and says what's on her mind--politely of course--some habits are really hard to break.However, nice or not, do not confuse this with not getting a point across. Kristin does this in her own succinct manner. She does publicize her own success - that is a given - but she also in a down-to-earth manner constantly encourages writers.
But here’s the reason why we don’t submit much after the first week in December. A lot of editors take extra holiday time around this time of year because publishing slows down. So a lot of key decision makers tend to leave the office early and if you have a project generating excitement… editors have to confer with those key people.So now you know why your query letter or you manuscript is taking a bit more time, and you don't have to curse the agent in your lonely room for not dealing with your work!
It’s just too frustrating so we wait until the calendar turns to the new year.
20,800That query letter number is fascinating. 20,800! OMG! Poor Kristin. Her eye doctor must love her! OMG!
(Estimated number of queries read and responded to in 2006)
54
(Number of full manuscripts requested and read)
8
(Number of new clients taken on this year)
21
(Number of books sold this year—not counting subsidiary rights stuff)
I always take a daily peek when I can at the blog of Miss Snark. Currently Miss Snark is running another round of her infamous Crapometer, or sometimes referred to as "crapfest". I read a bit, skim even more, and sit back in a bit of awe and yet really in doubt of this person's sanity. What possesses Miss Snark to do this? What inner motivation can such a person have?
So what is this possession and obsession of Miss Snark? She is loved and hated. She is vilified and praised. She is nice and she can be oh-so-nasty when someone hits her funny bone. What is up with her, him, they?
I finally realized, when all is said and done, besides her contributions to hundreds of authors struggling to find the right words, Miss Snark's real contribution, to my mind, is her devotion, determination, obsession and being possessed by the desire to help others.
Our very first "Super Teddy Award Series For Agents, Editors & Publishers" is awarded to an agent's blog known as "A Gent's Outlook". I first came across this "gem" in a link supplied on Absolute Write. If this blog were only useless I would ignore it. There are many blogs out there in blogosphere land that were started by agents, editors and publishers that were never updated after the first month. Either the agent just did not have time or they realized it is not so simple to get people to read what you write! (Must be a humbling experience for an agent to realize that the "plebeians" just don't want to read their musings.)"As I see it, people across Cyberville are finally cluing in to the fact that Snark is mouthpiecing the core values propagated by the watchpuppies and their related industry outsiders. Other publishing people, LIKE ME, couldn’t give a shit less what anybody thinks except talented writers and the publishers who seek to exploit them. I have seen lots of comments, finally, from editors and other agents who are basically saying that Snark is on a very wrong tangent. She always has been, but nobody important said anything because SNARK JUST DOESN”T MATTER. Except to the minions she has created through her Dr. Phil Does Publishing persona. When she dipped into an area she really doesn't know anything about, she fell flat on her pretty little snout."And here is another one from another post entitled "If You Knew Judy Like I Knew Judy (or The Greatest Wannabe of All)":
"I know Snark’s fans are too wannabe to understand the profundity of this little scandal in the ranks up here where the air is rarified, but us REAL agents are giddy. Kind of like watching someone get caught with her underwear stuck in her pretty little crack."Oh dear reader, it goes on and on endlessly. It is tiring; it is imbecilic; it is foolish; and it is damn stupid and not even funny. Sammy too, is an anonymous agent. But Sammy does not even pretend to give us "wannabes" any information. His whole being is concentrated on one thing. Snark is an idiot, almost all authors are wannabes, and Sammy is King.
"I am a publishing industry professional who has put a lot of time and effort into doing my job well enough that I can take pride in my work. And yet, as I look around the internet, I can’t help but wonder if I am completely crazy or what. Other so-called industry professionals are blogging their little hearts out, providing information to wannabes as if it is going to get them somewhere besides Looneyville. I just sit here and wonder if I am delusional. I look around. There’s the contract on my desk from a major, so that’s real. Or did I print it out on my computer? What are those scribbles on it—signatures? Am I hallucinating? Maybe. But the call I got from the Oscar-winning director’s assistant yesterday--that seemed so real! The option offer seemed a little too high--could I have been drunk? Maybe I’m in a coma somewhere and don’t know it. The things I read on the internet just don’t add up, so it must be me. Have I finally lost what little mind I had left before the wannabes started sucking on my brain?"The problem lies in that we are just subjected to these dumb rants from someone who claims to be an agent and want to give us the "TRUTH" about publishing. Try as hard as I could, I could not find one, not one, piece of advice to help me further my writing on a sane basis. I found out how great Sammy is (whoever he is, and to be perfectly frank - I don't give a damn), I found out how well Sammy is versed in normative street language, I found out how much Sammy thinks of himself, I found out how all writers are wannabes and stupid, I found out how much Sammy hates Miss Snark. All this I learned. Nothing else. Nada. Zilch.
Which of course leaves us with the overwhelming question as to what purpose this series of inane posts can possibly lead to besides self-gratification of an incredibly over-inflated ego.
As writers we often scour the Net for any piece of information that can help in our quest to get our books published. We have out our disposal quite a few web sites and blogs that offer us information on what to do and how to do it. Some are good, some mediocre, some are really just plain stupid and bad.So I am introducing the "Super Teddy Award Series For Agents, Editors & Publishers" with it's very own mascot. What I will be doing is from time to time when I find a particularly good or smart or valuable piece of information; or a particularly stupid or loathsome or idiotic statement in an agent's or editor's blog or web site - I will post it here, in Cobwebs Of The Mind for the "Super Teddy Award Series For Agents, Editors & Publishers".
